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I envy the consistency you have to seemingly get a large group of you folks regularly. Any tips that make it possible for y'all to schedule this?

by jjice 3y ago

leviathant 3y ago
When I was in a band, someone in the group said "Practice is on Tuesday and on Saturday" and we all stuck to it for a few years. Sometimes we'd even get together on a weekday to play a show, where even more people would show up. It helps to have a reason to get together. At a certain point early in life, I think most people adopt a "no agenda, no attenda" attitude towards socializing.
- ethbr1 3y ago
  > "no agenda, no attenda" attitude towards socializing As the proverbial people-networking advice goes, "What is the person whose time I'm asking for getting out of meeting? And what can I give them? And how can I make that a win/win?" Folks have an aversion to spending limited time to show up and hope something happens. Better to make the something explicit.
  - izzydata 3y ago
    That feels sociopathic in the context of socializing. As if you need to have something to gain in order to bother spending time with people.
    - ethbr1 3y ago
      How often do we plan to spend time without getting something? That might be fun, catching up, sexual attraction, familial obligation, or religious duty... but it's something. Better to be intentional and up-front when asking others, rather than expecting a reason to materialize out of the ether (and them to agree to spend the time without knowing it).
nvr219 3y ago
My tip is you pick some sort of weekly thing that you all show up to. For example, if religion is your thing, going to services is a super easy one. That's what I do and I know I'll see my friends there every week. But it could be trivia night, bowling league, whatever. You pick something important enough and people will schedule around it. Sure it's more effort than signing in to facebook, but the reward is greater.
j45 3y ago
It's important to priority quality and consistency over quality. That way when there it's 2-3 people or 10-15 the type and depth of conversations can vary. It's a treat either way to have a few longer and deeper conversations, or maybe a different format with more people available..
- j45 3y ago
  Typo: It's important to priority quality and consistency over QUANTITY
r2_pilot 3y ago
Pick a regularly scheduled time, let everyone know they're welcome to come, and don't make them feel bad if they miss. Source: I've been co-hosting an online Hackathon with about 4-6 people on Wednesday nights for 10 years.
Podgajski 3y ago
We just decided it’s important. We have no agenda or goals, the only goal is to get together. And to support each other. We have arguments we laugh. It’s all over the place. You just have to convince people that human socialization in person is important. If you have any exterior motive for doing it, I don’t think it will be as valuable. People need a time to just relax and get things off their chest and talk to people.

I envy the consistency you have to seemingly get a large group of you folks regularly. Any tips that make it possible for y'all to schedule this?

by jjice 3y ago

I envy the consistency you have to seemingly get a large group of you folks regularly. Any tips that make it possible for y'all to schedule this?

leviathant 3y ago

When I was in a band, someone in the group said "Practice is on Tuesday and on Saturday" and we all stuck to it for a few years. Sometimes we'd even get together on a weekday to play a show, where even more people would show up. It helps to have a reason to get together. At a certain point early in life, I think most people adopt a "no agenda, no attenda" attitude towards socializing.

ethbr1 3y ago
> "no agenda, no attenda" attitude towards socializing As the proverbial people-networking advice goes, "What is the person whose time I'm asking for getting out of meeting? And what can I give them? And how can I make that a win/win?" Folks have an aversion to spending limited time to show up and hope something happens. Better to make the something explicit.
- izzydata 3y ago
  That feels sociopathic in the context of socializing. As if you need to have something to gain in order to bother spending time with people.
  - ethbr1 3y ago
    How often do we plan to spend time without getting something? That might be fun, catching up, sexual attraction, familial obligation, or religious duty... but it's something. Better to be intentional and up-front when asking others, rather than expecting a reason to materialize out of the ether (and them to agree to spend the time without knowing it).

nvr219 3y ago

My tip is you pick some sort of weekly thing that you all show up to. For example, if religion is your thing, going to services is a super easy one. That's what I do and I know I'll see my friends there every week. But it could be trivia night, bowling league, whatever. You pick something important enough and people will schedule around it. Sure it's more effort than signing in to facebook, but the reward is greater.

j45 3y ago

It's important to priority quality and consistency over quality. That way when there it's 2-3 people or 10-15 the type and depth of conversations can vary. It's a treat either way to have a few longer and deeper conversations, or maybe a different format with more people available..

j45 3y ago
Typo: It's important to priority quality and consistency over QUANTITY

r2_pilot 3y ago

Pick a regularly scheduled time, let everyone know they're welcome to come, and don't make them feel bad if they miss. Source: I've been co-hosting an online Hackathon with about 4-6 people on Wednesday nights for 10 years.

Podgajski 3y ago

We just decided it’s important. We have no agenda or goals, the only goal is to get together. And to support each other. We have arguments we laugh. It’s all over the place. You just have to convince people that human socialization in person is important. If you have any exterior motive for doing it, I don’t think it will be as valuable. People need a time to just relax and get things off their chest and talk to people.