4 ms·

Anyone have tips on how to convince family members to ditch streaming services? I feel like a boiled frog over here, with Netflix, Disney+, and Amazon Prime. I’

Anyone have tips on how to convince family members to ditch streaming services? I feel like a boiled frog over here, with Netflix, Disney+, and Amazon Prime. I’d be happy to ditch any of these for 6 months at a time, but can’t get buy-in. Would love to know if others have faced similar challenges (and what has worked for them).

alphabettsy 3y ago
Why do you want to convince them? Is it because you pay for it? If they use the services regularly then you’re fighting a losing battle.
- gnicholas 3y ago
  It’s partly because of the cost, but partly because I don’t think the kids should get accustomed to always having everything at their fingertips, paid for up-front. I would rather they get used to dealing with tradeoffs, and understanding that there is a cost to these services. They do use the services regularly, but it’s not clear why they couldn’t shift behavior to use just two at a time, for example.
  - samtho 3y ago
    This is a loosing battle and a dying mentality. By enforcing values they may not agree with, you run the risk of alienating yourself from your family. Why not find other activities you can enjoy with your family instead of trying to limit something that is inexpensive and not harmful in the long run?
    - gnicholas 3y ago
      We do have plenty of other activities, which is part of the reason it would make sense to pay less for streaming services that we use periodically. What makes you say this will alienate the family? Should I give up whenever my values for raising my children are not 100% endorsed by others?
      - iteria 3y ago
        The only way to enforce values that others dont agree with is to aggressively draw a line in the sand and be 100% willing to go low contact if not no contact over it. If that's not a trade off you're willing to make over it, then you dont hold that value all that closely. I say this has someone who has actually cut off family members over things people would consider trival. Like soda. I literally cancelled an entire summer vacation with my family over it. No soda, high processed foods for my child. For me, it's a imminent matter of health for my kid who has GI issues to my family, it's be being over strict. I was willing to blow up everything over it. Are you willing to cause strife over stream services? Because this seems silly enough yo outsiders that I think you'll find it hard to convince your family. You'll probably only get to hard draw your boundary and deal with the fall out.
      - samtho 3y ago
        > What makes you say this will alienate the family? Should I give up whenever my values for raising my children are not 100% endorsed by others? For some background, I volunteer to help people find genetic family who may have been separated from them. I also help parents/offspring reunite if both are willing. These reunions are not always meant to be as the offspring is often the one that cut contact in the first place (and refused to reunite) because they felt they were mistreated at some point during their childhood. This ranges from their parent not letting them join the extracurricular activity they wanted (usually because it aligned with the child’s goals but not the parent’s), to literal abuse of all kinds. I would say about 80% it’s one or both parents withholding something that child just wants to enjoy with no rhyme or reason and thus feels as if it were done to spite them. I guarantee that three streaming services do not put them at the top of their peers of being spoiled, which what they will be comparing their situation with. If they already feel they are getting by with less and more is taken away, the long term resentment will start. I recently encountered an adult offspring of my client who went no contact with their parents because they banned video games in their house and as a result, lost their group of friends who kept in contact by playing games together.
        gnicholas 3y ago
        Wow, thanks for sharing this. Do kids react this strongly to being limited to just two streaming services, instead of three? (For reference, my kids are in primary school.)
  - alphabettsy 3y ago
    Thank makes sense. Maybe you’re focusing too much on these streaming services in particular. Unfortunately, they’re not necessarily interchangeable depending on what they like because of exclusive deals. Tons of people had HBO just for Game of Thrones. The services are becoming more and more like cable packages every year just on-demand instead. For most middle or upper-middle-class children in the US, I don’t think it’ll be having 3 streaming services that provide the experience of everything at their fingertips. They have Spotify/Apple Music, YouTube, and any streaming, and their parents provide them with all the food and electricity they need often without knowing anything about the cost. We had on-demand and every channel when I was a kid, but I was taught about things like our household budget. I also had to learn to save and budget my own money to buy the things that I wanted that were not part of the family budget.
scarface_74 3y ago
I always hate this sentiment. It’s just the opposite of what you see on Reddit on r/cordcutters “How can I help my 80 year old parents save $30 a month by getting rid of cable and getting streaming services and dealing with something that is more complicated” They are grown most likely intelligent adults. Leave them alone and let them live their lives.
- gnicholas 3y ago
  Huh? I’m talking about my household, not someone else’s. I’m also not looking to add complexity by shifting someone from a technology they’re familiar with to something new. I’m looking to get rid of a service for a while, then bring it back.
paxys 3y ago
How about - let them live their lives the way they want. They are not children, and a few $10/mo subscriptions isn't the end of the world.
- gnicholas 3y ago
  As I mentioned in another reply, this is about my family. This is not about people who live in a different household (and some of them are actually children).
samtho 3y ago
If you’re trying to save a bunch of money by ditching 3 $10-20 monthly services, you’re probably targeting the wrong thing. If $60/mo for the household prevents even just two unplanned outings per month, (which the cost per each would likely start at $60) is that not a cost saving measure in itself? The biggest things besides housing that people often pay are car payments, insurance for your vehicles, and utilities. Where can you save there instead? If saving is important to you then maybe ditch the car payment and get something you can pay for in cash, replace the old furnace for a high efficiency heat pump, etc.
- gnicholas 3y ago
  As I mentioned in another reply, this isn’t just about saving money. Sure, I don’t want to throw money away if possible, but it’s also about educating our kids about tradeoffs and not spoiling them.
  - paxys 3y ago
    To be honest reading all your replies it seems like you have spent too much time on HN and have convinced yourself that Netflix is the devil and you must get rid of it from your house to save your family. If you are paying $10-20 a month and your wife/kids are getting a couple hours of entertainment a day out of it then there really doesn't seem to be a problem. A decade or two ago you would be paying $200+ for cable TV for ads and much worse programming.
    - gnicholas 3y ago
      Haha I don’t think Netflix is the devil — I’ve been a subscriber for years, and have owned NFLX for almost as long.
  - samtho 3y ago
    Everyone parents differently and I’m not trying to prescribe what you should do, but here is something that I’ve found works well. Set your entertainment budget for the household at whatever you are paying now for streaming services and when they inevitably want to add Paramount or Discovery onto the what is available in household, you say “that is fine, but we can only have 3 streaming services (or if the kids are older: we only have a budget of $x month for streaming), which means we have to cancel one in order to add this new one” Because it’s hard to claw back what they already are used to, you’re putting them in a position where they must consider opportunity cost. If they are clever, they will say, “let’s switch for 3 months so we can watch what we want and switch back to our original setup.” This way introduces scarcity without being the “bad guy” - after all, the budget is the budget. It also gives them choice but not the freedom to choose everything so they can take some agency and better prepares them for the challenges of the Real World(tm).
crimsontech 3y ago
Assuming this is kids (like my situation) work out how much you are spending on subscriptions for stuff and give them the money instead, if they want to spend it on subscriptions they can. I think it's a good idea personally, it allows them to be in control and think about money a bit more. We don't have half the subscriptions we once had, but it's not like I can't buy Netflix for a month if there is something I really want to watch.

alphabettsy 3y ago

Why do you want to convince them? Is it because you pay for it? If they use the services regularly then you’re fighting a losing battle.

gnicholas 3y ago
It’s partly because of the cost, but partly because I don’t think the kids should get accustomed to always having everything at their fingertips, paid for up-front. I would rather they get used to dealing with tradeoffs, and understanding that there is a cost to these services. They do use the services regularly, but it’s not clear why they couldn’t shift behavior to use just two at a time, for example.
- samtho 3y ago
  This is a loosing battle and a dying mentality. By enforcing values they may not agree with, you run the risk of alienating yourself from your family. Why not find other activities you can enjoy with your family instead of trying to limit something that is inexpensive and not harmful in the long run?
  - gnicholas 3y ago
    We do have plenty of other activities, which is part of the reason it would make sense to pay less for streaming services that we use periodically. What makes you say this will alienate the family? Should I give up whenever my values for raising my children are not 100% endorsed by others?
    - iteria 3y ago
      The only way to enforce values that others dont agree with is to aggressively draw a line in the sand and be 100% willing to go low contact if not no contact over it. If that's not a trade off you're willing to make over it, then you dont hold that value all that closely. I say this has someone who has actually cut off family members over things people would consider trival. Like soda. I literally cancelled an entire summer vacation with my family over it. No soda, high processed foods for my child. For me, it's a imminent matter of health for my kid who has GI issues to my family, it's be being over strict. I was willing to blow up everything over it. Are you willing to cause strife over stream services? Because this seems silly enough yo outsiders that I think you'll find it hard to convince your family. You'll probably only get to hard draw your boundary and deal with the fall out.
    - samtho 3y ago
      > What makes you say this will alienate the family? Should I give up whenever my values for raising my children are not 100% endorsed by others? For some background, I volunteer to help people find genetic family who may have been separated from them. I also help parents/offspring reunite if both are willing. These reunions are not always meant to be as the offspring is often the one that cut contact in the first place (and refused to reunite) because they felt they were mistreated at some point during their childhood. This ranges from their parent not letting them join the extracurricular activity they wanted (usually because it aligned with the child’s goals but not the parent’s), to literal abuse of all kinds. I would say about 80% it’s one or both parents withholding something that child just wants to enjoy with no rhyme or reason and thus feels as if it were done to spite them. I guarantee that three streaming services do not put them at the top of their peers of being spoiled, which what they will be comparing their situation with. If they already feel they are getting by with less and more is taken away, the long term resentment will start. I recently encountered an adult offspring of my client who went no contact with their parents because they banned video games in their house and as a result, lost their group of friends who kept in contact by playing games together.
      - gnicholas 3y ago
        Wow, thanks for sharing this. Do kids react this strongly to being limited to just two streaming services, instead of three? (For reference, my kids are in primary school.)
- alphabettsy 3y ago
  Thank makes sense. Maybe you’re focusing too much on these streaming services in particular. Unfortunately, they’re not necessarily interchangeable depending on what they like because of exclusive deals. Tons of people had HBO just for Game of Thrones. The services are becoming more and more like cable packages every year just on-demand instead. For most middle or upper-middle-class children in the US, I don’t think it’ll be having 3 streaming services that provide the experience of everything at their fingertips. They have Spotify/Apple Music, YouTube, and any streaming, and their parents provide them with all the food and electricity they need often without knowing anything about the cost. We had on-demand and every channel when I was a kid, but I was taught about things like our household budget. I also had to learn to save and budget my own money to buy the things that I wanted that were not part of the family budget.

scarface_74 3y ago

I always hate this sentiment. It’s just the opposite of what you see on Reddit on r/cordcutters “How can I help my 80 year old parents save $30 a month by getting rid of cable and getting streaming services and dealing with something that is more complicated” They are grown most likely intelligent adults. Leave them alone and let them live their lives.

gnicholas 3y ago
Huh? I’m talking about my household, not someone else’s. I’m also not looking to add complexity by shifting someone from a technology they’re familiar with to something new. I’m looking to get rid of a service for a while, then bring it back.

paxys 3y ago

How about - let them live their lives the way they want. They are not children, and a few $10/mo subscriptions isn't the end of the world.

gnicholas 3y ago
As I mentioned in another reply, this is about my family. This is not about people who live in a different household (and some of them are actually children).

samtho 3y ago

If you’re trying to save a bunch of money by ditching 3 $10-20 monthly services, you’re probably targeting the wrong thing. If $60/mo for the household prevents even just two unplanned outings per month, (which the cost per each would likely start at $60) is that not a cost saving measure in itself? The biggest things besides housing that people often pay are car payments, insurance for your vehicles, and utilities. Where can you save there instead? If saving is important to you then maybe ditch the car payment and get something you can pay for in cash, replace the old furnace for a high efficiency heat pump, etc.

gnicholas 3y ago
As I mentioned in another reply, this isn’t just about saving money. Sure, I don’t want to throw money away if possible, but it’s also about educating our kids about tradeoffs and not spoiling them.
- paxys 3y ago
  To be honest reading all your replies it seems like you have spent too much time on HN and have convinced yourself that Netflix is the devil and you must get rid of it from your house to save your family. If you are paying $10-20 a month and your wife/kids are getting a couple hours of entertainment a day out of it then there really doesn't seem to be a problem. A decade or two ago you would be paying $200+ for cable TV for ads and much worse programming.
  - gnicholas 3y ago
    Haha I don’t think Netflix is the devil — I’ve been a subscriber for years, and have owned NFLX for almost as long.
- samtho 3y ago
  Everyone parents differently and I’m not trying to prescribe what you should do, but here is something that I’ve found works well. Set your entertainment budget for the household at whatever you are paying now for streaming services and when they inevitably want to add Paramount or Discovery onto the what is available in household, you say “that is fine, but we can only have 3 streaming services (or if the kids are older: we only have a budget of $x month for streaming), which means we have to cancel one in order to add this new one” Because it’s hard to claw back what they already are used to, you’re putting them in a position where they must consider opportunity cost. If they are clever, they will say, “let’s switch for 3 months so we can watch what we want and switch back to our original setup.” This way introduces scarcity without being the “bad guy” - after all, the budget is the budget. It also gives them choice but not the freedom to choose everything so they can take some agency and better prepares them for the challenges of the Real World(tm).

crimsontech 3y ago

Assuming this is kids (like my situation) work out how much you are spending on subscriptions for stuff and give them the money instead, if they want to spend it on subscriptions they can. I think it's a good idea personally, it allows them to be in control and think about money a bit more. We don't have half the subscriptions we once had, but it's not like I can't buy Netflix for a month if there is something I really want to watch.