3 ms·

Word choice is hard. I know that people who succeed in non-monogamous romantic relationships often need to do a lot of work to get to the point where they are

Word choice is hard. I know that people who succeed in non-monogamous romantic relationships often need to do a lot of work to get to the point where they are happy when their loved ones are happy, instead of eaten alive by jealousy. I'm just saying that I haven't yet fully matured in my own development such that I would be totally fine with my FTEs having other full-time engagements, even if they were completely transparent about it. Even though I believe that someone doing a great job has fulfilled their obligation to me. I should have no more say over what they do when they aren't working on my stuff than I do over who they choose to be with in their family life. I am also saying that if someone can be my best employee without me knowing that they have a whole second full-time job, I respect their game and hope that they are taking some time off for themselves, too. I just kind of don't want to hear about it. ;)

justinclift 3y ago
Hmmm, if someone has another "full time" job then they're being dishonest with you and should be treated as such. Rewarding dishonesty doesn't seem like a wise plan. --- Not sure why you're equating romantic relationships to the workplace, as they're completely separate domains with no cross over of "monogamous" with "full time employment". Hopefully no-ones been playing with your head to make you think otherwise. :/
- peteforde 3y ago
  Hey, you're welcome to your thoughts and opinions but, well, you asked. I was trying to give you a different mental model to help visualize why I said what I said. If you can't or won't acknowledge the conceptual similarity between monogamy and full time employment, knowing that I'm explicitly not speaking literally... then I'm probably not the business mentor that you're looking for.
  - justinclift 3y ago
    > the conceptual similarity between monogamy and full time employment They'd only be similar if you don't understand what makes non-monogamy dangerous unless both partners are getting satisfaction from multiple sources. If both partners are, then the whole jealousy concern you mention doesn't become a thing (baring mental issues). As employment (full time or otherwise) doesn't have drivers that work anything like that, there's not enough similarity to really apply lessons from the romantic domain to it. Well, maybe at a really high abstraction level somehow... :) > I'm probably not the business mentor that you're looking for. Thanks, I'm really not looking. ;)

justinclift 3y ago

Hmmm, if someone has another "full time" job then they're being dishonest with you and should be treated as such. Rewarding dishonesty doesn't seem like a wise plan. --- Not sure why you're equating romantic relationships to the workplace, as they're completely separate domains with no cross over of "monogamous" with "full time employment". Hopefully no-ones been playing with your head to make you think otherwise. :/

peteforde 3y ago
Hey, you're welcome to your thoughts and opinions but, well, you asked. I was trying to give you a different mental model to help visualize why I said what I said. If you can't or won't acknowledge the conceptual similarity between monogamy and full time employment, knowing that I'm explicitly not speaking literally... then I'm probably not the business mentor that you're looking for.
- justinclift 3y ago
  > the conceptual similarity between monogamy and full time employment They'd only be similar if you don't understand what makes non-monogamy dangerous unless both partners are getting satisfaction from multiple sources. If both partners are, then the whole jealousy concern you mention doesn't become a thing (baring mental issues). As employment (full time or otherwise) doesn't have drivers that work anything like that, there's not enough similarity to really apply lessons from the romantic domain to it. Well, maybe at a really high abstraction level somehow... :) > I'm probably not the business mentor that you're looking for. Thanks, I'm really not looking. ;)