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Of course I can’t comment on his specific circumstances. But two things stand out for me: First, he is a software developer working for international companies

Of course I can’t comment on his specific circumstances. But two things stand out for me: First, he is a software developer working for international companies, which probably makes him a pretty high earner relative to most people in Japan. Earning a high income improves mens’ eligibility for marriage pretty much anywhere in the world. Second, Japan places a high value on marriage - both culturally and legally. It’s less common to see people date/live together for many years before getting married than in say the US or Europe.

yieldcrv 3y ago
any word on if the marriage contract is better in japan or some part of japan? its a pretty bad contract in most of US or Europe. its dumb to sign bad contracts. Monaco's marriage contract is pretty good.
- freetime2 3y ago
  While I can’t really say whether it’s better/worse than elsewhere, I do know that divorce in Japan can be ruinous. Horror stories abound on reddit forums for expats in Japan. Combine this with the fact that international marriages are more likely to end in divorce, and things can start to look pretty grim. That being said, I still think marriage is worth it, provided both parties are willing and able to put in the effort to make it work. And I know many examples of couples in international marriages who have been happily married for decades or more (myself included). And what makes it a “bad contract” anyway? The obligation to support one’s spouse and children in the event of divorce? I can see how this might be seen as a negative by the primary earner in a marriage, but on the other hand I can see clear societal benefits to this arrangement.
  - throwaway2037 3y ago
    > And what makes it a “bad contract” anyway? Yes, I was also bothered by the term "bad contract". The phrase feels a bit Red Pill to me. Without children, there is essentially no alimony system in Japan. So, divorce for a middle aged housewife is essentially ruinous. It is awful. As a foreign parent, you are likely to lose 100% access to your children. It is demented.
    - yieldcrv 3y ago
      almost like the aspiring housewife shouldn't sign a bad contract, or hedge the risk by getting her own income if she doesnt have capital or a support system look at you immediately trying to use an ‘othering’ term for men, while proving the exact point that its a bad contract for a common subset of women and foreigners shame that you’re so comfortable trying to ‘other’ men, too comfortable. the point is don't sign bad contracts
  - yieldcrv 3y ago
    a bad contract is based on the probability of expensive clauses being activated. in any other financial arrangement, a 50% chance is a very bad contract that would just be avoided. a “30% chance amongst parties in their late 20s and older in higher socioeconomic brackets” is still a very bad chance in literally any other financial or business agreement and would be laughed at, as it would be devoid of all the cultural baggage and conditioning to engage with. a 10% chance would be bad too! this is mutually exclusive of understanding the purpose of the clause and seeing the benefit of it. this is merely saying, objectively, based on the aforementioned criteria, this is a bad contract.

yieldcrv 3y ago

any word on if the marriage contract is better in japan or some part of japan? its a pretty bad contract in most of US or Europe. its dumb to sign bad contracts. Monaco's marriage contract is pretty good.

freetime2 3y ago
While I can’t really say whether it’s better/worse than elsewhere, I do know that divorce in Japan can be ruinous. Horror stories abound on reddit forums for expats in Japan. Combine this with the fact that international marriages are more likely to end in divorce, and things can start to look pretty grim. That being said, I still think marriage is worth it, provided both parties are willing and able to put in the effort to make it work. And I know many examples of couples in international marriages who have been happily married for decades or more (myself included). And what makes it a “bad contract” anyway? The obligation to support one’s spouse and children in the event of divorce? I can see how this might be seen as a negative by the primary earner in a marriage, but on the other hand I can see clear societal benefits to this arrangement.
- throwaway2037 3y ago
  > And what makes it a “bad contract” anyway? Yes, I was also bothered by the term "bad contract". The phrase feels a bit Red Pill to me. Without children, there is essentially no alimony system in Japan. So, divorce for a middle aged housewife is essentially ruinous. It is awful. As a foreign parent, you are likely to lose 100% access to your children. It is demented.
  - yieldcrv 3y ago
    almost like the aspiring housewife shouldn't sign a bad contract, or hedge the risk by getting her own income if she doesnt have capital or a support system look at you immediately trying to use an ‘othering’ term for men, while proving the exact point that its a bad contract for a common subset of women and foreigners shame that you’re so comfortable trying to ‘other’ men, too comfortable. the point is don't sign bad contracts
- yieldcrv 3y ago
  a bad contract is based on the probability of expensive clauses being activated. in any other financial arrangement, a 50% chance is a very bad contract that would just be avoided. a “30% chance amongst parties in their late 20s and older in higher socioeconomic brackets” is still a very bad chance in literally any other financial or business agreement and would be laughed at, as it would be devoid of all the cultural baggage and conditioning to engage with. a 10% chance would be bad too! this is mutually exclusive of understanding the purpose of the clause and seeing the benefit of it. this is merely saying, objectively, based on the aforementioned criteria, this is a bad contract.