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I do this sometimes. Normally I phrase it something like "So what you're saying is, [summary]", or "Just to make sure I got that, [re-explanation]" which feels

I do this sometimes. Normally I phrase it something like "So what you're saying is, [summary]", or "Just to make sure I got that, [re-explanation]" which feels more natural to me. "Just to make sure we're on the same page here" is another one. I also ask questions about any aspects that sound sub-optimal, which is useful in its own right, but it's just as likely to uncover gaps in my own understanding - and I have that in mind when formulating the question.

msla 3y ago
> I also ask questions about any aspects that sound sub-optimal, which is useful in its own right, but it's just as likely to uncover gaps in my own understanding - and I have that in mind when formulating the question. And this framing is important: Even if you think you've found a serious problem in the proposal, treat it as if it's a gap in your own understanding and ask the other person to explain, as opposed to framing it as you fixing their faulty ideas. It's a social lubricant, in that it reduces emotional noise caused by people getting defensive, and it saves you embarrassment if you are, in fact, missing something.
- senderista 3y ago
  In academia this takes the form "I'm confused", which is code for "I suspect you're an idiot; please prove me wrong".