Not particularly cursed, but my single-file Ruby-script APNS-notification-pusher with Redis ran for a couple years on the first try, and handled around ten mill

Not particularly cursed, but my single-file Ruby-script APNS-notification-pusher with Redis ran for a couple years on the first try, and handled around ten million chat-app users on a single core with no trouble. I profiled to make sure it wasn't leaking when I wrote it and... yep, that's all it really takes. Bare-bones code is pretty effective at reminding me that computers are actually pretty fast nowadays.