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Hmm. About 2 years ago I bought myself a canvas and wrote on it the following: Live happy, make friends, enjoy. Make those dreams happy It was for much the sa

by ErrantX 15y ago

Hmm. About 2 years ago I bought myself a canvas and wrote on it the following: Live happy, make friends, enjoy. Make those dreams happy It was for much the same reason - to inspire me. However, about 6 months later I thought those idea through and realised that, actually, it was an example of "making me feel better". I could sit and look at this poster and think; "yeh, I'm following my dream, I'm going to be happy". I even had a list of goals to meet. But really you're not; you're following an arbitrary list, and all that is is con-straining. Here's my thought process; trying hard to be happy isn't being happy... That thought mulled for a long while; I was doing cool stuff, with people I liked, and having plenty of down time. But I still felt like it was an effort to pursue. This year has been a revelation. I did something "stupid" and spent a lot of my savings on two big holidays (many years ago I discovered my truest love is travel). Yesterday I spent a big portion of what is left on my third holiday of the year. I've barely done any work since January - one product release and some bugfixes. I started writing, then stopped, wrote a little program for myself, tried some carpentry, almost trashed my car trying to fix it, stood for at least three elections (politics and social communities) on a whim, dated two girls at once. And this is the tip of the iceberg. All of this wouldn't sync with the person who wrote that maxim 2 years before; it would seem reckless and silly. As if I was throwing away what I had worked for years to build. A load of fucking rubbish. Right now I'm free. And I smile more than I ever have in my life. I have more friends. My life is barrelling along where, 6 months ago, it was stagnant. So I wrote a new canvas (about 2 weeks ago, actually) which now says: Let rip My point is this; take care, with some of these ideas, that you don't get too focused on the means to the end. Just relax, close your eyes, do what you feel like. In the end it will work out. One day we will all be dead - till then I am going to enjoy myself. :) There is nothing wrong with a todo list topped by the words "don't ignore your dreams". But only if it makes you happy.

melvinram 15y ago
I struggle with this from time to time. I'm building a business that I plan/hope will allow me to have the freedom to do whatever I want with my time at some point in the future. Today, however, I work. I work a lot. 12 hours is the low end for a day. I've put work ahead of lot of things. If I were to truly close my eyes and do what I feel like, I'd be headed to a river/lake or getting on a plane. But I have clients, whom I've promised deliverables on Monday & Tuesday. So I'm going to work today. In addition, we're generating a lot of sales leads from our website but our sales process isn't as effective as it needs to be to justify hiring a dedicated sales person to handle that task. Once I can improve the sales process, put in place the tools necessary for a higher closing rate, revenues will increase and I'll hire someone to manage that aspect of the business and move on to a different/higher quality problem. So this weekend, I'm going to be working on the sales process (emails/pdf brochures/demo video/etc) as well. Yes, I could just go have fun and maybe I get to the same goal, just in a slightly longer time... but at least I enjoyed the journey more. Right? Maybe, but I don't see it that way. If I don't work my ass off today, I perceive that my chances of "making it" are going to be much lower. I'm not sure if that perception is true or not, but can I really afford to take a chance? So this weekend, I'll work. I'll put in the time and hope that the small successes will build up to a mega success and make all the sacrifies (like leaving cousins birthday party after a quick drop-in or skipping out on a date) are justified at the results (money and freedom to do spend a lot of time with people.) I don't know if that's the right call or not. I struggle with it all the time, particularly when friends are taking vacations 2-3 times a year. For now, I'm placing my bets on "work now. enjoy later." PS: I do make time for the absolutely critical things in my life like talking with my sister every other day, talking with my parents, keeping in touch with friends and more recently, taking my health a bit more seriously. PS2: Two of my deepest fears: 1) not trying hard enough, 2) succeeding and realizing it wasn't worth the sacrifice. I don't think they are likely to happen.
- ErrantX 15y ago
  That's awesome; I'm glad you've come back with an opposite viewpoint. I think the takeaway is that different things work for different people. It could be that you would spend your life intensely happier if you just let go right now. And equally I could spend my life much happier if I took a grip. If anything I'd say let go of the regret - you've picked this path so live it and love it :) And if you can't, maybe my way might be worth thinking about. I guess the only way to find out is in 10 years time. > but can I really afford to take a chance You can always take a chance. always. Don't let anyone (including yourself) tell you different. You're taking a chance on yourself right now by pushing hard at your goals. Most of all; good luck!
  - ams6110 15y ago
    I agree, if your work fulfills you, work. If you hate what you do, do something else. But I think a lot of this "live your dreams, die with no regrets" is a bunch of pie-in-the-sky psychobabble. Utopias don't exist in this life, and chasing them often leads to a bad end.
- biot 15y ago
  My only advice would be: work hard, play hard. It sounds like you've got the work hard part down pat. Take at least a couple weeks off a year. 50 weeks at 12+ hours a day of work is more than 99% of people do. Spend at least 2 weeks at 0 hours a day of work unwinding with your friends on a vacation. Your work will still be there when you get back, and you'll have renewed enthusiasm for it.
  - holri 14y ago
    When running, you are getting faster in the breaks in between running sessions. Running all the time leads to degeneration. So if you want to excel, work hard and make enough breaks.
- Tyrannosaurs 14y ago
  I have two concerns with the work now, enjoy later: 1) It forms habits. I think there are a lot of people who work now and just keep working because they never work out how to stop. 2) Later isn't always what you think it might be. A cautionary tale: My parents worked (very) hard their whole lives, both became company directors, had a small shareholding in the company one of them worked for and did well out of it. They wanted to get themselves (and me) set up and get to the point they could enjoy retirement. When they did retire (a bit after 60) within a year or so my mother had to have her hip replaced which laid her up for some time and rather scuppered many of their plans. Things got worse on that front and she ended up having both hips replaced twice. She was then diagnosed with cancer and died 18 months later (much of the enjoyment during that period limited by her treatment). My dad is now way more than comfortable but his plans are in tatters. In short: later is always a risk. Later may not be what you think it will. Perhaps it's best not to bet it all on later.
FrojoS 14y ago
Watch out for the slump! When the party is over, all your money is gone, your travels are done, your girls disappointed and you have to go back to more work while not being as successful as you used to be, it can be quite a hangover.

by ErrantX 15y ago

melvinram 15y ago

I struggle with this from time to time. I'm building a business that I plan/hope will allow me to have the freedom to do whatever I want with my time at some point in the future. Today, however, I work. I work a lot. 12 hours is the low end for a day. I've put work ahead of lot of things. If I were to truly close my eyes and do what I feel like, I'd be headed to a river/lake or getting on a plane. But I have clients, whom I've promised deliverables on Monday & Tuesday. So I'm going to work today. In addition, we're generating a lot of sales leads from our website but our sales process isn't as effective as it needs to be to justify hiring a dedicated sales person to handle that task. Once I can improve the sales process, put in place the tools necessary for a higher closing rate, revenues will increase and I'll hire someone to manage that aspect of the business and move on to a different/higher quality problem. So this weekend, I'm going to be working on the sales process (emails/pdf brochures/demo video/etc) as well. Yes, I could just go have fun and maybe I get to the same goal, just in a slightly longer time... but at least I enjoyed the journey more. Right? Maybe, but I don't see it that way. If I don't work my ass off today, I perceive that my chances of "making it" are going to be much lower. I'm not sure if that perception is true or not, but can I really afford to take a chance? So this weekend, I'll work. I'll put in the time and hope that the small successes will build up to a mega success and make all the sacrifies (like leaving cousins birthday party after a quick drop-in or skipping out on a date) are justified at the results (money and freedom to do spend a lot of time with people.) I don't know if that's the right call or not. I struggle with it all the time, particularly when friends are taking vacations 2-3 times a year. For now, I'm placing my bets on "work now. enjoy later." PS: I do make time for the absolutely critical things in my life like talking with my sister every other day, talking with my parents, keeping in touch with friends and more recently, taking my health a bit more seriously. PS2: Two of my deepest fears: 1) not trying hard enough, 2) succeeding and realizing it wasn't worth the sacrifice. I don't think they are likely to happen.

ErrantX 15y ago
That's awesome; I'm glad you've come back with an opposite viewpoint. I think the takeaway is that different things work for different people. It could be that you would spend your life intensely happier if you just let go right now. And equally I could spend my life much happier if I took a grip. If anything I'd say let go of the regret - you've picked this path so live it and love it :) And if you can't, maybe my way might be worth thinking about. I guess the only way to find out is in 10 years time. > but can I really afford to take a chance You can always take a chance. always. Don't let anyone (including yourself) tell you different. You're taking a chance on yourself right now by pushing hard at your goals. Most of all; good luck!
- ams6110 15y ago
  I agree, if your work fulfills you, work. If you hate what you do, do something else. But I think a lot of this "live your dreams, die with no regrets" is a bunch of pie-in-the-sky psychobabble. Utopias don't exist in this life, and chasing them often leads to a bad end.
biot 15y ago
My only advice would be: work hard, play hard. It sounds like you've got the work hard part down pat. Take at least a couple weeks off a year. 50 weeks at 12+ hours a day of work is more than 99% of people do. Spend at least 2 weeks at 0 hours a day of work unwinding with your friends on a vacation. Your work will still be there when you get back, and you'll have renewed enthusiasm for it.
- holri 14y ago
  When running, you are getting faster in the breaks in between running sessions. Running all the time leads to degeneration. So if you want to excel, work hard and make enough breaks.
Tyrannosaurs 14y ago
I have two concerns with the work now, enjoy later: 1) It forms habits. I think there are a lot of people who work now and just keep working because they never work out how to stop. 2) Later isn't always what you think it might be. A cautionary tale: My parents worked (very) hard their whole lives, both became company directors, had a small shareholding in the company one of them worked for and did well out of it. They wanted to get themselves (and me) set up and get to the point they could enjoy retirement. When they did retire (a bit after 60) within a year or so my mother had to have her hip replaced which laid her up for some time and rather scuppered many of their plans. Things got worse on that front and she ended up having both hips replaced twice. She was then diagnosed with cancer and died 18 months later (much of the enjoyment during that period limited by her treatment). My dad is now way more than comfortable but his plans are in tatters. In short: later is always a risk. Later may not be what you think it will. Perhaps it's best not to bet it all on later.

FrojoS 14y ago

Watch out for the slump! When the party is over, all your money is gone, your travels are done, your girls disappointed and you have to go back to more work while not being as successful as you used to be, it can be quite a hangover.