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A couple years ago I went looking for soviet jokes. They're amazing. I imagine google can find you some. A bunch of them were great. One I recall, American: T

by jfoutz 3y ago

A couple years ago I went looking for soviet jokes. They're amazing. I imagine google can find you some. A bunch of them were great. One I recall, American: The U.S. is the best! I can stand in front of the Whitehouse and yell, Ronald Regan is the worst president ever! Soviet: Comrade, I can stand in front of the Kremlin and yell the same thing! There's a bunch, with varying levels of grim. If you're ever bored, it's a rabbit hole that's worth poking around in.

RecycledEle 3y ago
That was then. In 2023, in the USA, try standing in front of your local police department and explaining the simple, statistically likely, fact that they have at least one sexual predator working there. They will physically abuse you until you leave. If you refuse to leave, they will send you for a mental evaluation. If you still resist, they will kill you.
- jfoutz 3y ago
  Even more reason to look them up. Soviet standing in red square handing out blank pieces of paper. Police come, and tell him to stop distributing protest flyers. Protestors: Protest? they're blank paper! Police: Comrade, everyone knows what's wrong. I might have messed it up a little, but, you get the gist.
  - aslfjiasf 3y ago
    Humor imitates life: Russia arrested anti-war protesters holding blank signs: https://www.newsweek.com/russia-ukraine-war-invasion-protests-police-arrest-activists-holding-blank-signs-paper-1687603 https://www.newsweek.com/russia-ukraine-war-invasion-protest... But apparently this a thing in many countries, and there's even a Wikipedia article about this form of protest: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blank_piece_of_paper https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blank_piece_of_paper Ah, to be in America: >In 1970, Anna Halprin organised a "Blank Placard Dance" by members of her San Francisco Dancers' Workshop. They paraded, dressed in white, while holding blank placards. She explained, "...there were so many protests going on and this way each person watching us could just imagine whatever protest slogan they wanted on the placards." It's nice to be able to protest with blank signs because you want to make a joke, and not because of fear of arrest.
- snowwrestler 3y ago
  They should arrest you for misuse of statistics. Since this is a joke thread, I'll share one related to this concept: The police catch a man trying to sneak a bomb onto a plane, and question him. Man: I was doing it to increase the flight's safety! Police: How can a bomb make a flight safer? Man: Obviously I'm not going to set mine off, and what are the chances that there are two bombs on the same flight??
praptak 3y ago
They told this joke about A. Mikoyan who survived all Stalin's purges which made him the oldest living member of the Politburo at that time: - Comrade Mikoyan, you forgot your umbrella! - Don't worry, I'll walk between the raindrops.
- Terr_ 3y ago
  That makes me think of children's book I saw once, The Rabbi and the 29 Witches. The titular Rabbi convinces them that he arrived dry because he danced between the raindrops.
bluedino 3y ago
Funny, I remember this specific joke from my childhood. My dad would bring home photocopied jokes or cartoons from work. It's funny to imagine someone making 50 copies of one of these, then passing them out around their workplaces laughing with their co-workers. 15 years later you saw the same stuff in email, fwd: FWD: FWD: Re: Why American is great
er4hn 3y ago
My personal favorite: A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a moron!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said 'moron', you certainly meant the Tsar!"
pjot 3y ago
Comrade 1: What are one potato say other potato? Comrade 2: Premise ridiculous! Who have two potato?
- jll29 3y ago
  This got me laughing - and I reckon it's because of the extremely high laughter-to-length ratio. Has anyone formally evaluated joke effectiveness (apart from Monty Python's "deadly joke")?
fatbird 3y ago
I can't believe this is still up, but it's amazing: Russian lolcats. https://rolcats.wordpress.com/ https://rolcats.wordpress.com/
- jfoutz 3y ago
  This is the most wonderful thing I've seen on the internet in a long time. Thank you.

by jfoutz 3y ago

RecycledEle 3y ago

That was then. In 2023, in the USA, try standing in front of your local police department and explaining the simple, statistically likely, fact that they have at least one sexual predator working there. They will physically abuse you until you leave. If you refuse to leave, they will send you for a mental evaluation. If you still resist, they will kill you.

jfoutz 3y ago
Even more reason to look them up. Soviet standing in red square handing out blank pieces of paper. Police come, and tell him to stop distributing protest flyers. Protestors: Protest? they're blank paper! Police: Comrade, everyone knows what's wrong. I might have messed it up a little, but, you get the gist.
- aslfjiasf 3y ago
  Humor imitates life: Russia arrested anti-war protesters holding blank signs: https://www.newsweek.com/russia-ukraine-war-invasion-protests-police-arrest-activists-holding-blank-signs-paper-1687603 https://www.newsweek.com/russia-ukraine-war-invasion-protest... But apparently this a thing in many countries, and there's even a Wikipedia article about this form of protest: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blank_piece_of_paper https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blank_piece_of_paper Ah, to be in America: >In 1970, Anna Halprin organised a "Blank Placard Dance" by members of her San Francisco Dancers' Workshop. They paraded, dressed in white, while holding blank placards. She explained, "...there were so many protests going on and this way each person watching us could just imagine whatever protest slogan they wanted on the placards." It's nice to be able to protest with blank signs because you want to make a joke, and not because of fear of arrest.
snowwrestler 3y ago
They should arrest you for misuse of statistics. Since this is a joke thread, I'll share one related to this concept: The police catch a man trying to sneak a bomb onto a plane, and question him. Man: I was doing it to increase the flight's safety! Police: How can a bomb make a flight safer? Man: Obviously I'm not going to set mine off, and what are the chances that there are two bombs on the same flight??

praptak 3y ago

They told this joke about A. Mikoyan who survived all Stalin's purges which made him the oldest living member of the Politburo at that time: - Comrade Mikoyan, you forgot your umbrella! - Don't worry, I'll walk between the raindrops.

Terr_ 3y ago
That makes me think of children's book I saw once, The Rabbi and the 29 Witches. The titular Rabbi convinces them that he arrived dry because he danced between the raindrops.

bluedino 3y ago

Funny, I remember this specific joke from my childhood. My dad would bring home photocopied jokes or cartoons from work. It's funny to imagine someone making 50 copies of one of these, then passing them out around their workplaces laughing with their co-workers. 15 years later you saw the same stuff in email, fwd: FWD: FWD: Re: Why American is great

er4hn 3y ago

My personal favorite: A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a moron!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said 'moron', you certainly meant the Tsar!"

pjot 3y ago

Comrade 1: What are one potato say other potato? Comrade 2: Premise ridiculous! Who have two potato?

jll29 3y ago
This got me laughing - and I reckon it's because of the extremely high laughter-to-length ratio. Has anyone formally evaluated joke effectiveness (apart from Monty Python's "deadly joke")?

fatbird 3y ago

I can't believe this is still up, but it's amazing: Russian lolcats. https://rolcats.wordpress.com/ https://rolcats.wordpress.com/

jfoutz 3y ago
This is the most wonderful thing I've seen on the internet in a long time. Thank you.