Sir, our data analysis shows that you and your family would have been crushed under one of our trucks last month if it hadn't been for its autonomous driving so

Sir, our data analysis shows that you and your family would have been crushed under one of our trucks last month if it hadn't been for its autonomous driving software. Based on your internet commenting history you have expressed a preference to be crushed under the vagaries of human-spectrum incompetence rather than being subjected to soulless, less-than-perfect machine behavior offered by our corporate overlords. We are here to offer you a correction of this regrettable mistake. Could you please call your family and follow us to the flesh compactor? We assure you that it is operated by a real, drunk human.