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Do I get this right, you are blaming the women to be immature and irresponsible for...couch surfing at someone's place? I don't think that's sound. People shoul
by ben_WG 3y ago
Do I get this right, you are blaming the women to be immature and irresponsible for...couch surfing at someone's place? I don't think that's sound. People should absolutely be confident that staying at someone's place via couch surfing will not lead to them being raped. Or is this bar too high for men, because boys will be boys? I really don't see the rope's other end.
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- slibhb 3y agoThe problem with the "victim blaming" concept is that it prevents us from giving good advice about how to avoid being a victim. It's clear that women shouldn't stay with male strangers. Men should think carefully about it too. It's not about blame. If someone drugs and/or rapes someone else, that person is to blame. But it is possible to avoid situations where you're vulnerable.
- dullcrisp 3y agoThe problem with your good free advice is that it was neither sought nor is it helpful. But thank you for it anyway.
- confd 3y agoThere must be cultural factors that influence one person’s ability to conceptualize the likelihood of becoming victimized in a given situation and another’s inability.
- doix 3y agoThis is such messed up logic. You can apply it to basically anything. Taken to the extreme, never get in a car because you can get in a car crash. Never go on a plane because it can crash. Don't send your kids to school because they might get shot. Many people used the couch surfing website and did not get raped (the vast majority). Many people have been raped in ways completely unrelated to couch surfing. Such "advice" really isn't helpful.
- slibhb 3y agoComparing "riding in a car" and "flying in a plane" to a "young woman staying with a male stranger she met on the internet" is bizarre. The risk involved in the latter example is way higher than the risks involved in the former two. Also I'm not arguing for avoidance of all risk. If people want to do risky things, fine. Heroin, BASE jumping, staying overnight at a stranger's house -- have at it. What I'm objecting to is the idea that there's something wrong with giving people advice about the potential danger in certain situations. There isn't!
- tiahura 3y agoYou would hope people over the age of 12 would know better than to go get drunk in a complete stranger’s house in a foreign country?
- notnaut 3y agoThe line you’re drawing is arbitrary. It is clear to all that getting drunk, ever, lowers your security. You can couchsurf five hundred times and have nothing like this happen. You can get drunk at strange bars day in and day out and have nothing like this happen. You can be walking from a bus stop to your cheap motel a bit too tired or take a jog too early in the morning and be victimized in much the same way. We can ensure our safety, or we can live our lives and experience the world. Perspectives that jump instantly to what a victim could have done better to improve their safety are reasonable, especially when discussing prevention, but you might learn something about the very common angle of these perspectives if you consider other situations re: personal security where you don’t immediately ump to what the victim could have done. My observation is you get a LOT more of the “oh you silly thing, how could you have not known this would happen to you?” When dealing with female victims of sex crimes.