3 ms·

On my mom's side of the family, there runs a genetic illness which is autosomal dominant, and inevitably disabling. If you have the gene, you will go blind befo

by pxc 3y ago

On my mom's side of the family, there runs a genetic illness which is autosomal dominant, and inevitably disabling. If you have the gene, you will go blind before you reach old age. There are no treatments and the is no cure. My dad, who is strict and obsessive about his diet, exercise, and overall health is right now facing two large, cancerous, deadly tumors. They are the result of a complication, decades later, from a then-undiscovered disease transmitted to him through a life-saving blood transfusion after a traffic accident in which he was not at all. It seems clear to me that whether we retain autonomy, mobility, and health is hardly up to us. Disability and ill health are things that can come for any of us, and when they do, it's not always about the choices we've made in life. Securing mobility and autonomy isn't about assuring you will always be free of disability— it's about learning to do so within disability, which is practically inevitable.

kuhewa 3y ago
> It seems clear to me that whether we retain autonomy, mobility, and health is hardly up to us. Things we have agency over are not sufficient, but are necessary, to retain healthspan into old age or at least maximise our capacity for it, despite us being at the whim of stochastic events or possibly inexorable progressive disease.
lm28469 3y ago
> It seems clear to me that whether we retain autonomy, mobility, and health is hardly up to us. There are ways to dramatically increase or decrease your odds. There are no hard guarantees but statistically it's extremely clear that your lifestyle is a huge differentiator. Obesity and diabetes are easy to avoid for the vast majority of people and will absolutely fuck you up. Even cancers are like 70%+ lifestyle/environmental related. Just like you have people who survive car crashes in 1980s cars while not wearing a seatbelt and people who die in a 2023 car with 12 airbags while wearing a seat belt. Your conclusion shouldn't be that seatbelts don't do much My gf's dad was on the way down, 65, getting fat, low mobility, out of breath all the time, &c. we motivated him, he lost 35kg+ in a year, no more shortness of breath, much better mobility, all health metrics improved, it doesn't mean he'll live longer, but he'll for sure live better
- boppo1 3y ago
  Wish I could motivate my mom. She's quite overweight and she even agrees she needs to lose it, but she just wont exercise or stop buying sweets and snacks. My father and I have told her we're happy to go without that stuff in the house but she still buys it. Whenever she eats the stuff she has some excuse. I've tried to teach her the IIFYM approach so she can still enjoy treats but she resists and insists that 'intermittent fasting' (eating almost nothing on Monday and Wednesday) has been succeeding for her. She'll lose two pounds and celebrate, then gains it back.
  - Silasdev 3y ago
    Same. I even got my mom an electric bicycle as a present, just to lower the entry to physical exercise, but it just collected dust in the corner, despite endless promises to start using it. She passed away suddenly 3 years ago. I'm sure her heart just gave up. Still can't really take it in. If the joy of your bad habits outweigh whatever other sources of joy you have in your daily life, then it's hard to motivate someone to stop. In their mind, they are making the conclusion that they'd rather die with some joy from the bad habit than die entirely unhappy - which kind of makes sense.
    - boppo1 3y ago
      >If the joy of your bad habits outweigh whatever other sources of joy you have in your daily life, then it's hard to motivate someone to stop. In their mind, they are making the conclusion that they'd rather die with some joy from the bad habit than die entirely unhappy Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is the kicker for my mom. We were driving back from an errand and she said she wanted to stop for a [marketing name of 1000 cal coffee-slushie]. I gently but firmly reminded her that wasn't going to help her goals and she launched into a small tantrum that included 'It's the only joy I get'. I love her so much and I'm terrified of her suddenly being gone, or worse, declining into early alzheimers/dementia like her dad did. She is receptive to discussing changing her habits in general, but if I get specific and try to help her start any sort of plan to give them up or minimize them, she responds as if I am attacking her. I don't know what to do. I've never struggled with my weight, but I once noticed I was getting heavier than I liked and I successfully lost about 30lb in 4-5 months. It doesn't have to be that intense for her, but I know what works. I just can't get her to commit to any variation of a serious approach.

by pxc 3y ago

kuhewa 3y ago

> It seems clear to me that whether we retain autonomy, mobility, and health is hardly up to us. Things we have agency over are not sufficient, but are necessary, to retain healthspan into old age or at least maximise our capacity for it, despite us being at the whim of stochastic events or possibly inexorable progressive disease.

lm28469 3y ago

> It seems clear to me that whether we retain autonomy, mobility, and health is hardly up to us. There are ways to dramatically increase or decrease your odds. There are no hard guarantees but statistically it's extremely clear that your lifestyle is a huge differentiator. Obesity and diabetes are easy to avoid for the vast majority of people and will absolutely fuck you up. Even cancers are like 70%+ lifestyle/environmental related. Just like you have people who survive car crashes in 1980s cars while not wearing a seatbelt and people who die in a 2023 car with 12 airbags while wearing a seat belt. Your conclusion shouldn't be that seatbelts don't do much My gf's dad was on the way down, 65, getting fat, low mobility, out of breath all the time, &c. we motivated him, he lost 35kg+ in a year, no more shortness of breath, much better mobility, all health metrics improved, it doesn't mean he'll live longer, but he'll for sure live better

boppo1 3y ago
Wish I could motivate my mom. She's quite overweight and she even agrees she needs to lose it, but she just wont exercise or stop buying sweets and snacks. My father and I have told her we're happy to go without that stuff in the house but she still buys it. Whenever she eats the stuff she has some excuse. I've tried to teach her the IIFYM approach so she can still enjoy treats but she resists and insists that 'intermittent fasting' (eating almost nothing on Monday and Wednesday) has been succeeding for her. She'll lose two pounds and celebrate, then gains it back.
- Silasdev 3y ago
  Same. I even got my mom an electric bicycle as a present, just to lower the entry to physical exercise, but it just collected dust in the corner, despite endless promises to start using it. She passed away suddenly 3 years ago. I'm sure her heart just gave up. Still can't really take it in. If the joy of your bad habits outweigh whatever other sources of joy you have in your daily life, then it's hard to motivate someone to stop. In their mind, they are making the conclusion that they'd rather die with some joy from the bad habit than die entirely unhappy - which kind of makes sense.
  - boppo1 3y ago
    >If the joy of your bad habits outweigh whatever other sources of joy you have in your daily life, then it's hard to motivate someone to stop. In their mind, they are making the conclusion that they'd rather die with some joy from the bad habit than die entirely unhappy Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is the kicker for my mom. We were driving back from an errand and she said she wanted to stop for a [marketing name of 1000 cal coffee-slushie]. I gently but firmly reminded her that wasn't going to help her goals and she launched into a small tantrum that included 'It's the only joy I get'. I love her so much and I'm terrified of her suddenly being gone, or worse, declining into early alzheimers/dementia like her dad did. She is receptive to discussing changing her habits in general, but if I get specific and try to help her start any sort of plan to give them up or minimize them, she responds as if I am attacking her. I don't know what to do. I've never struggled with my weight, but I once noticed I was getting heavier than I liked and I successfully lost about 30lb in 4-5 months. It doesn't have to be that intense for her, but I know what works. I just can't get her to commit to any variation of a serious approach.