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>In particular, it seems to me to be likely that we have to choose between "make your own identity/be true to yourself" and "you have to have a good job and a g

>In particular, it seems to me to be likely that we have to choose between "make your own identity/be true to yourself" and "you have to have a good job and a good house and good mating prospects". (That seems reasonable; those two expectations are largely at war with each other.) This feels like a false dichotomy to me.

AnimalMuppet 3y ago
For certain identities, certainly. If my identity that I choose for myself is "follower of religion X/sports team Y/band Z", then that's completely compatible with financial success. If I pick "I'm a beach bum", and seriously try to live that out, well, that doesn't pay very well. If I pick "I'm a professional skier", that may pay well, but the odds are it won't, and seriously trying to pursue it is probably going to preclude most well-paying jobs. So "largely at war with each other" was probably an overstatement. And as I said, they aren't diametrically opposed - they aren't totally at odds with each other. Still, they seem to me to be at least somewhat opposed to each other - if nothing else, both can take our time, attention, and effort, and we are finite. What we give to one, we don't have available for the other.