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If your friend is screwing up their life and you are enabling them by validating their bad choices, you're not being a good friend to them. Close friends are pr
by PeterisP 3y ago
If your friend is screwing up their life and you are enabling them by validating their bad choices, you're not being a good friend to them. Close friends are pretty much the only ones who are in a position of trust to be able to deliver harsh truths to someone in a way that actually gets through (unlike internet strangers, media, authorities and in many cases also family), so it's the duty of friends to actually do so when needed.
- squigz 3y agoNobody's making the case for enabling bad choices - I just don't think being an asshole is the only alternative. I also don't know anyone in a similar situation who isn't acutely aware of the situation - they don't need their friends constantly giving them the most obvious advice in the world, they need support.
- darkerside 3y agoIf you're going through a tough time and need compassion, don't mistake that for thinking everybody in every situation always needs compassion
- bradjohnson 3y agoCounterpoint: Literally nobody needs 'darkerside' from hackernews to tell them to "get a fucking job".
- darkerside 3y agoI can read between the lines... Get a job Brad! :-D
- bradjohnson 3y agoI'm overburdened with employment already, unfortunately, but duly noted.
- squigz 3y agoI don't think I said that. Likewise, though, if you're too blind to notice your own bad behavior, don't mistake that for everyone else being too blind to notice their own behavior. I'm also not really sure why you're playing this card, since I referenced other people in my previous comment... but oh well.
- darkerside 3y agoI agree you didn't say that. It just felt relevant to share my perspective there. Your friends may very well all fall into the category you describe. There exist nonzero scenarios where people don't.