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> Every night over a private dinner, the entire group has a single conversation around one subject, which the group chose the night before. Everyone stays invol

by dewey 3y ago

> Every night over a private dinner, the entire group has a single conversation around one subject, which the group chose the night before. Everyone stays involved in this one conversation, exploring one topic to exhaustion. All the other points make a lot of sense to me, but something about deciding on topics and sticking to these sounds a bit over engineered to me. I've never taken part in such a setting so maybe I just don't get it yet, but it seems very limiting.

JohnFen 3y ago
> I've never taken part in such a setting so maybe I just don't get it yet, but it seems very limiting. Yeah, that's how it strike me, too. I suppose it depends on the purpose of the conversation. If it's for enjoyment, constraining it to a single topic sounds awful. Most of the joy of good conversation is in how it rambles across topics according to the mood of the participants and serendipity. But if it's a focus group of some sort, then limiting to a single topic is desirable.
- TeMPOraL 3y ago
  Perhaps it's why I've never been good at such dinner conversations. Invariably, just as I've thought of something to contribute to the current topic, someone interrupts the previous speaker to throw a random non sequitur, and the topic and/or mood of the conversation changes to something entirely different.
  - JohnFen 3y ago
    Oh, yeah, that happens all the time! I learned to just let it go and drop whatever contribution I had to add to the conversation before the topic shift. Instead, I switch to the new topic. It's a bit like dancing with someone in that respect. You have to be ready to alter your moves so that you can stay in sync with your partner. The magic is in the coordination.
    - TeMPOraL 3y ago
      I've learned the same. But I've never learned to keep pace. You can't stay in sync when you're constantly lagging. (Then again, I can't dance well either, so maybe I have some Generalized Pace-Keeping Disorder; is that a thing in DSM-5?)
rwc 3y ago
there's beauty in the limitation, though. if you've never experienced a "single conversation dinner" I highly recommend it as a way to get fascinating, deeper insights on a particular topic. find it works best when the conversation is less outward ("how would you solve healthcare in America?") and more inward ("how do you stay motivated when it feels like everything is working against you?") where each person's personal experience and sharing doesn't have to be directly relevant to you, but you can interpret your own thoughts/feelings/experiences through a different lens.

by dewey 3y ago

JohnFen 3y ago

> I've never taken part in such a setting so maybe I just don't get it yet, but it seems very limiting. Yeah, that's how it strike me, too. I suppose it depends on the purpose of the conversation. If it's for enjoyment, constraining it to a single topic sounds awful. Most of the joy of good conversation is in how it rambles across topics according to the mood of the participants and serendipity. But if it's a focus group of some sort, then limiting to a single topic is desirable.

TeMPOraL 3y ago
Perhaps it's why I've never been good at such dinner conversations. Invariably, just as I've thought of something to contribute to the current topic, someone interrupts the previous speaker to throw a random non sequitur, and the topic and/or mood of the conversation changes to something entirely different.
- JohnFen 3y ago
  Oh, yeah, that happens all the time! I learned to just let it go and drop whatever contribution I had to add to the conversation before the topic shift. Instead, I switch to the new topic. It's a bit like dancing with someone in that respect. You have to be ready to alter your moves so that you can stay in sync with your partner. The magic is in the coordination.
  - TeMPOraL 3y ago
    I've learned the same. But I've never learned to keep pace. You can't stay in sync when you're constantly lagging. (Then again, I can't dance well either, so maybe I have some Generalized Pace-Keeping Disorder; is that a thing in DSM-5?)

rwc 3y ago

there's beauty in the limitation, though. if you've never experienced a "single conversation dinner" I highly recommend it as a way to get fascinating, deeper insights on a particular topic. find it works best when the conversation is less outward ("how would you solve healthcare in America?") and more inward ("how do you stay motivated when it feels like everything is working against you?") where each person's personal experience and sharing doesn't have to be directly relevant to you, but you can interpret your own thoughts/feelings/experiences through a different lens.