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(US-centric point of view:) Most women like that part of getting married. They get excited about it. They want their kids to have the same last name as both pa

(US-centric point of view:) Most women like that part of getting married. They get excited about it. They want their kids to have the same last name as both parents and they want to share the name of their husband. Please try to not turn it into some male domination thing, as so many discussions on here needlessly turn to that. It's like the HN version of "all discussions eventually lead to Hitler," or however that goes.

pbiggar 14y ago
In my limited anecdotal observations, I see the same as you. That does not mean that it isn't a "male domination thing" (at an ingrained-into-the-core-of-society level). I simply wish we didn't feel like we have to excuse women keeping their own name, and hope that one day it will simply be the default.
- coderdude 14y ago
  I trust that the billions of women world 'round who practice this know in their heart-of-hearts that they are not being dominated by adopting their husband's last name. Yours is something of an extreme point of view, IMO.
  - aplusbi 14y ago
    The point is not that women adopting their husband's names is misogynistic but rather that the need to excuse women who don't is misogynistic.
    - jack-r-abbit 14y ago
      A wife taking the husband's name is still the norm here. I think that some people feel they need to explain why they didn't so that other (more judgmental) people don't just label them as "weird" or "femi-nazis" or any of the other disparaging labels that people put on others when they don't have the same opinions and ideals. I think this change is a slow process and will not have 100% acceptance. But I have no doubt that the time will come when that choice will no longer be questioned.
EwanG 14y ago
We're both off-topic, but since you chose to go there... My wife was 18 when we got married. She wasn't "well known". She wasn't a feminist. But she kept her last name and it has never been a problem - except for PayPal. Our kids have her last name as their middle name and my last name as their last name for convenience - mainly the school's convenience. Personally I hope some day we go to a system where you turn 18 and pick the name you want. I've known at least two couples where when they got married they didn't choose either name, but took a name for "them". I personally would like to see more of this, but then I'm a bit of a romantic.
- beedogs 14y ago
  > My wife was 18 when we got married. o_O
  - dspillett 14y ago
    That really isn't unheard of, you know. It isn't common, but it happens often enough that you shouldn't be that surprised. If you are shocked by people marrying at 18 I recommend you avoid looking into teen pregnancy rates. Many early marriages fail (but then again so do many late ones, so that generalism might be based on confirmation bias) but some people are mature enough to have a solid relationship and life plan by that point so getting married early works for them.

pbiggar 14y ago

In my limited anecdotal observations, I see the same as you. That does not mean that it isn't a "male domination thing" (at an ingrained-into-the-core-of-society level). I simply wish we didn't feel like we have to excuse women keeping their own name, and hope that one day it will simply be the default.

coderdude 14y ago
I trust that the billions of women world 'round who practice this know in their heart-of-hearts that they are not being dominated by adopting their husband's last name. Yours is something of an extreme point of view, IMO.
- aplusbi 14y ago
  The point is not that women adopting their husband's names is misogynistic but rather that the need to excuse women who don't is misogynistic.
  - jack-r-abbit 14y ago
    A wife taking the husband's name is still the norm here. I think that some people feel they need to explain why they didn't so that other (more judgmental) people don't just label them as "weird" or "femi-nazis" or any of the other disparaging labels that people put on others when they don't have the same opinions and ideals. I think this change is a slow process and will not have 100% acceptance. But I have no doubt that the time will come when that choice will no longer be questioned.

EwanG 14y ago

We're both off-topic, but since you chose to go there... My wife was 18 when we got married. She wasn't "well known". She wasn't a feminist. But she kept her last name and it has never been a problem - except for PayPal. Our kids have her last name as their middle name and my last name as their last name for convenience - mainly the school's convenience. Personally I hope some day we go to a system where you turn 18 and pick the name you want. I've known at least two couples where when they got married they didn't choose either name, but took a name for "them". I personally would like to see more of this, but then I'm a bit of a romantic.

beedogs 14y ago
> My wife was 18 when we got married. o_O
- dspillett 14y ago
  That really isn't unheard of, you know. It isn't common, but it happens often enough that you shouldn't be that surprised. If you are shocked by people marrying at 18 I recommend you avoid looking into teen pregnancy rates. Many early marriages fail (but then again so do many late ones, so that generalism might be based on confirmation bias) but some people are mature enough to have a solid relationship and life plan by that point so getting married early works for them.