4 ms·

I think you misunderstand the intent of that statement then. That statement is a way to say your significant other should curve the scale so you're their 10, if

I think you misunderstand the intent of that statement then. That statement is a way to say your significant other should curve the scale so you're their 10, if they accept you as you are.

gnulinux 3y ago
I think this is also unrealistic and potentially damaging to the relationship. I have some really bad behavior, I try to be better every day, but yeah I'm bad in some ways. My girlfriend knows this and she accepts but it'd be a lie to say my bad behavior doesn't bother her. And same for vice versa. No one is perfect, especially if you live with them every day in the same house.
freetime2 3y ago
That's more or less how I understood it, and I don't think it is a healthy thing to require of your partner. For one I don't think it is possible for someone to just override their feelings like that. And anyway I want my partner to understand my strengths and weaknesses. And to help me improve myself where possible with encouragement and constructive criticism, or to offset my weaknesses with their strengths. And vice versa.
lazyasciiart 3y ago
That’s silly. My partner is a better cook than I am and a better driver. Any scale where I rate a 10 for either of those is dangerously disconnected from reality.
smsm42 3y ago
That's idealizing and it's not healthy for a long-term relationship. Sooner or later (probably sooner) one has to be faced with the fact that the human you are bonding with is, well, human. And as such - flawed in so many ways, as all humans are. If you can admit that, really be honest about it, and still value the relationship and your partner, because there are so many things beyond the flaws that make it work - then it has a future. If it's just blind infatuation that ignores the reality - it's a fling, and the reality will assert itself soon. Nothing wrong with an occasional fling on certain stage of one's life, but it is good to make the distinction between the two.

I think you misunderstand the intent of that statement then. That statement is a way to say your significant other should curve the scale so you're their 10, if they accept you as you are.

gnulinux 3y ago

I think this is also unrealistic and potentially damaging to the relationship. I have some really bad behavior, I try to be better every day, but yeah I'm bad in some ways. My girlfriend knows this and she accepts but it'd be a lie to say my bad behavior doesn't bother her. And same for vice versa. No one is perfect, especially if you live with them every day in the same house.

freetime2 3y ago

That's more or less how I understood it, and I don't think it is a healthy thing to require of your partner. For one I don't think it is possible for someone to just override their feelings like that. And anyway I want my partner to understand my strengths and weaknesses. And to help me improve myself where possible with encouragement and constructive criticism, or to offset my weaknesses with their strengths. And vice versa.

lazyasciiart 3y ago

That’s silly. My partner is a better cook than I am and a better driver. Any scale where I rate a 10 for either of those is dangerously disconnected from reality.

smsm42 3y ago

That's idealizing and it's not healthy for a long-term relationship. Sooner or later (probably sooner) one has to be faced with the fact that the human you are bonding with is, well, human. And as such - flawed in so many ways, as all humans are. If you can admit that, really be honest about it, and still value the relationship and your partner, because there are so many things beyond the flaws that make it work - then it has a future. If it's just blind infatuation that ignores the reality - it's a fling, and the reality will assert itself soon. Nothing wrong with an occasional fling on certain stage of one's life, but it is good to make the distinction between the two.