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My example will be as anecdotal as yours: I have many friends who are parents, and many who are not. Neither group appears to be more or less happy or fortunate
by sho_hn 3y ago
My example will be as anecdotal as yours: I have many friends who are parents, and many who are not. Neither group appears to be more or less happy or fortunate, on average.
I personally don't know any parents who regret having their children, but that doesn't mean they haven't known hardship or bad luck, including when it comes to their kids. However, I also have child-free friends who are deeply troubled or unhappy.
On the whole, I've concluded it isn't a big factor.
I tend to find my friends who are parents are more productive in their 30s and 40s than those who don't have kids, because it forced them to learn planning and time management, and their non-kid activities benefited as well. I think this may be compelling to many on HN.
- mlyle 3y agoThe tradeoff you make is kind of wack. If you have kids, you're committing to an experience that is more full of meaning and joy than anything else you can do. But a huge fraction of the time is just work or suck-- far more than you get to revel in that meaning and joy. And you give up a lot of other options. And there's no escape from the struggle. (I'm a father of 3 boys; they're awesome; I don't regret my choice. Though, it would be 10x better if I could have the best of both worlds and take a true break for a week or two every now and then ;)
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]