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In 50+ years I've learned one thing. When you have a kid. Drop EVERYTHING in your life, take off (completely) from work and spend your days with them. For at l
by dpweb 3y ago
In 50+ years I've learned one thing.
When you have a kid. Drop EVERYTHING in your life, take off (completely) from work and spend your days with them. For at least a month or two.
Make breakfast, watch little kid shows, all that.
Yeah money, but you have decades to earn money. Those couple months you won't get back.
- ChainOfFools 3y agoJust as important, they won't get them back either. If they live to be an average age of 80 or so, the time spent as an infant thru the end of (small) childhood in a state of constant neural growth, novelty of discovery and wonder impossible to reproduce at any later time, is less than one 10th of their life.
- Scubabear68 3y agoCovid quarantine showed us that extremes should be avoided. You can get quality time without destroying your career. Yes, spend time with your kids, but try not to smother them, and ensure they have a diverse set of interactions with a range of people.
- aks_tldr 3y agothis doesn't applies for 2 month old babies. You are their entire world.
- Scubabear68 3y agoI agree. The commenter seemed to be targeting older kids though.
- ta1243 3y agoIt's started off that "take a couple of months parental leave", which I agree. Then it talked about "kids shows", that's years later.
- zwieback 3y agoAgreed, I took off 3 months when our second was born, then 3 months part time. Looking back, now in my late 50s, I realize work life is so long and toddlerhood so short. If I could go back I'd try to take a leave of absence for maybe a year. All of this is of course is luxurious thinking for people with wealth and skills that stay in demand.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- 4death4 3y agoAs a man, I agree, but I’ll add take some time to be the sole caretaker. I took some time off with my wife and then some more time off when my wife went back to work. It was a totally different experience and I bonded a lot with my daughter. When mom’s around, it’s too easy to say “oh, she’s hungry, here.” You end up missing all these small moments to learn about your kid.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- jefc1111 3y agoI think different things work for different people. But me; I agree with you. I have been around a lot for my kids and the idea of that not having been the case makes me feel hollow and weird.
- GCA10 3y agoVery true, up till about age 12 or so. At that point, kids start yearning to build their own identities. At least some of the time. They want to make their own friends; find their own obsessions and solve (or create) their own problems. They still check in with parents a lot. The rubber band of independence stretches and snaps, again and again. You realize that no one is a perfect parent, because the concept of perfection collapses on itself. Part of the way that kids master independence is to be annoyed at their parents -- enough so that they walk home instead of waiting for the ride. If we're too good at parenting, the chaos and casual cruelty of the outside world becomes unbearable and they never get the hang of running their own lives.
- andyjohnson0 3y agoFully agree. At around that age they increasingly don't want your undivided attention, except when they do. Its important to give them space to develop their own identity, with the reassurance that they have safety and support. And that if they need that, you'll be there and fully engaged.
- j0hnyl 3y agoI don't have kids of my own, but I have many younger cousins. I've noticed that by age 9-10 a lot of the charm was gone and their personalities were dominated by pop culture. Some re-emerge as normal in their mid-late teens or early 20s.