3 ms·

I grew up poor. Something I realized early on is I had a lot of victim-mentality people around me. The world happened to them. I decided at an early age (like,

I grew up poor. Something I realized early on is I had a lot of victim-mentality people around me. The world happened to them. I decided at an early age (like, under 10) that everyone is 100% responsible for everything that happens to them, including by chance. You get hit by a car? You were standing there. In this world view, you can have more than 100% responsibility because the driver that hit you is also 100% responsible. Armed with that, instead of accepting and complaining about my situation, I worked my ass off to change it. And I did. By a lot. When I had kids, I tried to teach them the same thing. '"She made me sooooo mad" -- no, you are mad because you. Yes, your sister should not have pushed you. Yes, it is also on you to control your emotions. Let's go talk with your sister about pushing you.' I expect there will be people who downvote this. Keep looking for others to blame and see how that works out. Take responsibility. Fix a thing. This also leads to another of my early discoveries (also, under 10): if you can't do something about a situation, don't -- and don't worry. If you can, do -- and don't worry. These have served me well, even if "wrong."

jodrellblank 3y ago
> "I decided at an early age (like, under 10) that everyone is 100% responsible for everything that happens to them" Do you think you were responsible for thinking like that when you were 9 years old?
- sethammons 3y ago
  Somewhere I likely came across the idea that I was responsible for myself. I'm not sure if that was something my dad said in passing, or in a book I read, or a show on TV. I probably did not have the genesis of that idea in a vacuum. Given the environment I was in and the people that surrounded me, I could see that they blamed the world for their problems and it didn't appear to be working out for them. I grew up with no role models on how I should live - instead, I saw many examples of things I did not want to emulate. One of those things was a victim-mentality.

jodrellblank 3y ago

> "I decided at an early age (like, under 10) that everyone is 100% responsible for everything that happens to them" Do you think you were responsible for thinking like that when you were 9 years old?

sethammons 3y ago
Somewhere I likely came across the idea that I was responsible for myself. I'm not sure if that was something my dad said in passing, or in a book I read, or a show on TV. I probably did not have the genesis of that idea in a vacuum. Given the environment I was in and the people that surrounded me, I could see that they blamed the world for their problems and it didn't appear to be working out for them. I grew up with no role models on how I should live - instead, I saw many examples of things I did not want to emulate. One of those things was a victim-mentality.