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Can someone explain like I am five, what is "passive aggression" ?

MattGaiser 3y ago
You dislike something, disapprove, or disagree, but express that disagreement through something like simply not inviting the person you disagree with to the next meeting rather than telling them you disagree and why.
drivers99 3y ago
This page seems good https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/passive-aggression https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/passive-aggression
jlmorton 3y ago
Basically taking some action to indirectly signal dissatisfaction rather than directly confronting it. This could be many things. As the article says, it could be as simple as procrastination. It could also be something more insidious, like Bob works late every evening, so Sally forgets to feed Bob's dog in the morning.
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
rprenger 3y ago
I think it's like: Passive: Uh, your code looks great! Aggressive: Your code is garbage! Assertive: Your code is broken. Passive-Aggressive: It's great that you think your garbage code is great!
- hinkley 3y ago
  Common movie trope: I love how you can just wear anything. Which is a subtle way to say your clothes are trash and I wouldn’t be caught dead with those even in the same room as me. You’re slagging the listener while sounding like you’re giving a complement.
jacobsenscott 3y ago
RTFA?
h4l 3y ago
I'll add to what the others have said with an example. The scenario at the start of the article is an example of passive aggression, but it's quite subtle and not explained until later on. Jim has made the effort of cooking pasta for him and Aaron. Carbonara in particular deteriorates quite quickly, so after 10 minutes it won't be very good. We see from the story that Aaron is stuck on the phone with work, and once he finally breaks free, the pasta is spoiled and Jim rather annoyed. Where's the passive aggression? Later on, the article hints that before this played out, Aaron was annoyed at Jim. He intentionally spoiled the dinner (e.g disrespecting the effort Jim invested) by staying on the phone, but because he pretended to be unable to avoid the call it's passive — he can claim not to have spoiled it intentionally. In contrast, it would be regular aggression if he'd thrown the pasta into the sink.

You dislike something, disapprove, or disagree, but express that disagreement through something like simply not inviting the person you disagree with to the next meeting rather than telling them you disagree and why.

drivers99 3y ago

This page seems good https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/passive-aggression https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/passive-aggression

jlmorton 3y ago

Basically taking some action to indirectly signal dissatisfaction rather than directly confronting it. This could be many things. As the article says, it could be as simple as procrastination. It could also be something more insidious, like Bob works late every evening, so Sally forgets to feed Bob's dog in the morning.

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]

rprenger 3y ago

I think it's like: Passive: Uh, your code looks great! Aggressive: Your code is garbage! Assertive: Your code is broken. Passive-Aggressive: It's great that you think your garbage code is great!

hinkley 3y ago
Common movie trope: I love how you can just wear anything. Which is a subtle way to say your clothes are trash and I wouldn’t be caught dead with those even in the same room as me. You’re slagging the listener while sounding like you’re giving a complement.

jacobsenscott 3y ago

RTFA?

h4l 3y ago

I'll add to what the others have said with an example. The scenario at the start of the article is an example of passive aggression, but it's quite subtle and not explained until later on. Jim has made the effort of cooking pasta for him and Aaron. Carbonara in particular deteriorates quite quickly, so after 10 minutes it won't be very good. We see from the story that Aaron is stuck on the phone with work, and once he finally breaks free, the pasta is spoiled and Jim rather annoyed. Where's the passive aggression? Later on, the article hints that before this played out, Aaron was annoyed at Jim. He intentionally spoiled the dinner (e.g disrespecting the effort Jim invested) by staying on the phone, but because he pretended to be unable to avoid the call it's passive — he can claim not to have spoiled it intentionally. In contrast, it would be regular aggression if he'd thrown the pasta into the sink.