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That's an interesting take. I use that phrase a lot, but in a sincere way. I use it to mean - I don't understand why they're into it, but if that's what makes

That's an interesting take. I use that phrase a lot, but in a sincere way. I use it to mean - I don't understand why they're into it, but if that's what makes them happy, then that's really what's important. It's not for me, but it could be for someone else, sort of thing. Language is weird.

ata_aman 3y ago
I think it comes down to tone and which word from that phrase is emphasized. But I agree with you as well, I always took it as "its none of my business and if it makes them happy then that's all that matters"
ravenstine 3y ago
Yeah, I sometimes use that phrase in reference to a person doing something I wouldn't do but without the intention of begrudging them of it. I hate to think anyone has ever thought I was being passive aggressive over such phrasing.
bee_rider 3y ago
IMO this is one of the annoying things about passive aggression. It has stolen the language of “I don’t get it but I’m happy for those who do” and made it into something mean spirited.
tetha 3y ago
Tone matters a lot with this. If you just sigh a "If that makes you happy" and then sulk to do whatever... that's not a positive message. Apathy, defeated, such things. On the other hand, a sincere "If that makes you happy, let's go" is a very different thing. This is more in line with what we have at work at times - "I disagree with this plan, but it is the plan chosen by us all, so I will support it to the best of my abilities", or "I don't care either way, but you chose left, so left we go to the best of our abilities". If we can only get the right ice cream 2 hours away from here, alright? I have nothing better to do right now and if you give me a day, I have an icebox ready.
- alexjplant 3y ago
  I concur. It's kind of like saying "good for you" which can be either congratulatory or completely sarcastic depending upon the context. I always try to throw in an adverb like "sincerely" or "truly" to avoid ambiguity when I say stuff like this to avoid sounding salty.

ata_aman 3y ago

I think it comes down to tone and which word from that phrase is emphasized. But I agree with you as well, I always took it as "its none of my business and if it makes them happy then that's all that matters"

ravenstine 3y ago

Yeah, I sometimes use that phrase in reference to a person doing something I wouldn't do but without the intention of begrudging them of it. I hate to think anyone has ever thought I was being passive aggressive over such phrasing.

bee_rider 3y ago

IMO this is one of the annoying things about passive aggression. It has stolen the language of “I don’t get it but I’m happy for those who do” and made it into something mean spirited.

tetha 3y ago

Tone matters a lot with this. If you just sigh a "If that makes you happy" and then sulk to do whatever... that's not a positive message. Apathy, defeated, such things. On the other hand, a sincere "If that makes you happy, let's go" is a very different thing. This is more in line with what we have at work at times - "I disagree with this plan, but it is the plan chosen by us all, so I will support it to the best of my abilities", or "I don't care either way, but you chose left, so left we go to the best of our abilities". If we can only get the right ice cream 2 hours away from here, alright? I have nothing better to do right now and if you give me a day, I have an icebox ready.

alexjplant 3y ago
I concur. It's kind of like saying "good for you" which can be either congratulatory or completely sarcastic depending upon the context. I always try to throw in an adverb like "sincerely" or "truly" to avoid ambiguity when I say stuff like this to avoid sounding salty.