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There's merit to both perspectives. I mean, yes, its important to recognize where your limits are so that when you feel you are approaching them, you take the
by petsfed 3y ago
There's merit to both perspectives.
I mean, yes, its important to recognize where your limits are so that when you feel you are approaching them, you take the moment to walk away.
But as written, I understood this to be "if I haven't yet approached my limit, maybe being calm near her can actually help her". This syncs with a lot of what I've read and been taught by e.g. my kids' preschool teachers: kids need reassurance that their negative emotions are valid, and that its ok to express negative emotions. Consistently walking away from a child in the midst of expressing negative emotions past some threshold of intensity just teaches the kid that people who feel that strongly about anything should be isolated.
To paraphrase your own closing statement, I've read too many stories of neglected and abandoned children that would have been prevented by not "just" walking away.
- e1g 3y agoBabies younger than 9-12 months cannot regulate even their own body temperature. They absolutely cannot regulate their emotional state - being calm, present, and centered is exactly what top parenting looks like for that age.
- pdonis 3y agoThe child in this article is just over a year old.
- e1g 3y agoYes, and the author is reflecting on their experience until now, which is mostly in the period when the baby’s brain is just forming (I have a 10 month old, and a 2.5 year old with sensory challenges)
- petsfed 3y agoEmotional regulation in the form of self-soothing happens pretty quickly. Like 3-9 months, commonly. I think more importantly, the GP was using the most negative possible interpretation of what, to me, sounds like a pretty healthy and self-aware approach to the new (to the author) phenomenon of tantrums.