> her small violent waves at just the right moment may cause large, violent waves in you. In my (admittedly limited) experience, this isn't really how it works

> her small violent waves at just the right moment may cause large, violent waves in you. In my (admittedly limited) experience, this isn't really how it works, at least with little ones. They start having these really big feelings, don't know what to do or how to handle them, and they _need_ an adult present to help them regulate. Walking away can help them learn how to self-regulate, but the better play (again, IMO only) is to first teach them the skills on _how_ to regulate (deep breathing, butterfly hugs, distraction, etc). Walking away is a tool, just like any other, but it's a big tool for bigger kids IMO. Now of course this only goes so far, and if the parent starts getting to the point where it feels like they're going to explode, of _course_ leaving the room is the correct thing to do. Get up, say something like "I need to leave the room to calm my body down. I will come back in a little bit. I love you." and then follow through. Go scream into a pillow, punch the bed, deep breathe, whatever. The come back and try again, with the expectation that they won't have calmed down and may have accelerated. IME this isn't super successful at one but by the time they hit three or so they have enough awareness to understand what you're telling them. Also, to clarify, I'm not talking about infants. Infants can be absolutely infuriatingly frustrating, especially when you're operating on very little or no sleep. Putting them down in a safe space and walking away for five minutes so you can primal scream in the garage is 100% better than the alternatives.