I think it’s relative to your own value system. If a man dies rescuing his family from a house fire, that’s a loss for him in some sense but in that man’s own v

I think it’s relative to your own value system. If a man dies rescuing his family from a house fire, that’s a loss for him in some sense but in that man’s own value system, it’s a win because he values his family’s lives over his own. The word “spite” implies a certain pettiness that usually indicates that you don’t actually value satisfying the grudge more than what you’re losing so you’re just being stupid. My mom always used to say, “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face”. But if you brood and premeditate on a resentment until you wholeheartedly accept it and are still willing to make personal sacrifices to satisfy it, that’s less “spite” and more “revenge”, and it becomes evil.