3 ms·

> It's really hard to do this well and not be boring however. Takes like these are very odd to me. The parent comment is basically saying to have a conversatio

> It's really hard to do this well and not be boring however. Takes like these are very odd to me. The parent comment is basically saying to have a conversation and if it goes well ask the person out. If said person finds your conversation boring then why would you want to date them in the first place? So much discourse online about dating is "I HAVE to do X and Y and Z and it's just exhausting", but why? Why go through all this effort if you don't want to? Isn't the whole point of dating to find someone who makes you happy and likes you for who you are?

zozbot234 3y ago
> Isn't the whole point of dating to find someone who makes you happy and likes you for who you are? Yes it is, that's the whole point. As a dude, you're not going to signal "hey I like you for who you are, I care about making you happy" with boring conversation. You need something that's not just that, and is not "keep pestering them and don't take no for an answer" either.
- colpabar 3y ago
  I guess I just find the idea of "signaling" things strange. It's like women are fish and men are trying to figure out which bait to use. A conversation will naturally be interesting if two people are interested in each other, even if it's about a boring topic. That's what chemistry is. It may start out boring, but if there is chemistry, it won't stay that way. But hey, that's just me. I have absolutely zero interest in "the game" and doing things I wouldn't normally do to get women to date me, and I am lucky enough that I don't have to. I just see people talking about doing all this stuff to get women to like them and I can't help but think that a relationship started that way is doomed to fail. I would find it exhausting to constantly worry about "signaling" things to someone to keep them interested. I want to be myself, always, and if they're not interested, oh well.
  - zozbot234 3y ago
    You think women don't try to figure out what 'bait' to use? It may be a game, but if so it's a game everyone plays. And we're all fish.

zozbot234 3y ago

> Isn't the whole point of dating to find someone who makes you happy and likes you for who you are? Yes it is, that's the whole point. As a dude, you're not going to signal "hey I like you for who you are, I care about making you happy" with boring conversation. You need something that's not just that, and is not "keep pestering them and don't take no for an answer" either.

colpabar 3y ago
I guess I just find the idea of "signaling" things strange. It's like women are fish and men are trying to figure out which bait to use. A conversation will naturally be interesting if two people are interested in each other, even if it's about a boring topic. That's what chemistry is. It may start out boring, but if there is chemistry, it won't stay that way. But hey, that's just me. I have absolutely zero interest in "the game" and doing things I wouldn't normally do to get women to date me, and I am lucky enough that I don't have to. I just see people talking about doing all this stuff to get women to like them and I can't help but think that a relationship started that way is doomed to fail. I would find it exhausting to constantly worry about "signaling" things to someone to keep them interested. I want to be myself, always, and if they're not interested, oh well.
- zozbot234 3y ago
  You think women don't try to figure out what 'bait' to use? It may be a game, but if so it's a game everyone plays. And we're all fish.