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For me the weird thing is that I couldn't imagine myself eating alone at a restaurant (and basically never did)... until I had to travel for work. Suddenly, eat

For me the weird thing is that I couldn't imagine myself eating alone at a restaurant (and basically never did)... until I had to travel for work. Suddenly, eating at restaurants by myself was mandatory, and it was perfectly fine and normal. Nothing to be scared of. Now I can eat by myself wherever, whenever, no issues. It's strange how being forced to do something can make you change your perspective so completely.

Folcon 3y ago
Not really, I think it's about that self-narrative, if you find a pathway to telling yourself how something is normal, well then clearly it is. You know how. Before being forced to, the narratives you probably had about someone eating by themselves were all about being loners or at least something negative. Now you know more reasons and the new reasons feel positive or socially acceptable, so you're willing to do the activity. I suspect there's a step in the middle of this which is rationally coming to the reason vs experiencing it which also makes a difference. IE I can do some uncomfortable activity because I believe some reason that it's ok, but haven't experienced it, vs I've experienced an activity and now know it's fine, so now it's comfortable or easier.
astura 3y ago
I mean... It's definitely not mandatory, like at all, when I travel alone for work I usually get takeout. The only time I'll ever eat at the restaurant is at the bar and only if I'm also getting several drinks.
mikub 3y ago
It's strange how we can think about totally normal situations as being awkward. I always liked the scene in the movie "As good as it get's" where Jack Nicholson asks Holly Hunt to go for a walk, and she replies that it's very early in the morning and it would be strange to walk through the city at that time, and Jack Nicholson then say's "Yes, but in 20 minutes the Cafe down the block opens. If we go there we're not some weirdos walking around in the morning, we're just two people getting some coffee." I don't know if the conversation was exactly like that(been a while since I saw that movie) but you should get my point I hope. :)
- ryandrake 3y ago
  You got the gist of it but it was Helen Hunt.
doubled112 3y ago
I love eating alone in a crowded place. Everything going on in the background but no expectation that I engage with anybody or anything. I also love driving or wandering around in the middle of the night when there's almost nothing going on. Completely different perspective of the area.
wlonkly 3y ago
I had the same experience. Travelling for work alone, I used to always get takeout to bring back to the hotel, or maybe eat in a counter service type place, but now I'm used to eating in restaurants alone, it's no problem. Someone asked me how to get used to it the other day, and I suggested that hotel restaurants are a good place to practice, because there are always a lot of people eating alone at hotels. Same for hotel bars.

Folcon 3y ago

Not really, I think it's about that self-narrative, if you find a pathway to telling yourself how something is normal, well then clearly it is. You know how. Before being forced to, the narratives you probably had about someone eating by themselves were all about being loners or at least something negative. Now you know more reasons and the new reasons feel positive or socially acceptable, so you're willing to do the activity. I suspect there's a step in the middle of this which is rationally coming to the reason vs experiencing it which also makes a difference. IE I can do some uncomfortable activity because I believe some reason that it's ok, but haven't experienced it, vs I've experienced an activity and now know it's fine, so now it's comfortable or easier.

astura 3y ago

I mean... It's definitely not mandatory, like at all, when I travel alone for work I usually get takeout. The only time I'll ever eat at the restaurant is at the bar and only if I'm also getting several drinks.

mikub 3y ago

It's strange how we can think about totally normal situations as being awkward. I always liked the scene in the movie "As good as it get's" where Jack Nicholson asks Holly Hunt to go for a walk, and she replies that it's very early in the morning and it would be strange to walk through the city at that time, and Jack Nicholson then say's "Yes, but in 20 minutes the Cafe down the block opens. If we go there we're not some weirdos walking around in the morning, we're just two people getting some coffee." I don't know if the conversation was exactly like that(been a while since I saw that movie) but you should get my point I hope. :)

ryandrake 3y ago
You got the gist of it but it was Helen Hunt.

doubled112 3y ago

I love eating alone in a crowded place. Everything going on in the background but no expectation that I engage with anybody or anything. I also love driving or wandering around in the middle of the night when there's almost nothing going on. Completely different perspective of the area.

wlonkly 3y ago

I had the same experience. Travelling for work alone, I used to always get takeout to bring back to the hotel, or maybe eat in a counter service type place, but now I'm used to eating in restaurants alone, it's no problem. Someone asked me how to get used to it the other day, and I suggested that hotel restaurants are a good place to practice, because there are always a lot of people eating alone at hotels. Same for hotel bars.