4 ms·

I don't see this on the list but "Do things by yourself" is one I'd add. Lots of people seem to have a thing against Going to the Movies, Eating at a restauran

by slyall 3y ago

I don't see this on the list but "Do things by yourself" is one I'd add. Lots of people seem to have a thing against Going to the Movies, Eating at a restaurant or attending an event/concert/museum without a friend/partner. Trust me it's not unusual and everybody is not staring at you.

lovelyviking 3y ago
Shockingly dancing was not mentioned? Or have I missed it? I’ve encouraged many programmers to start dancing as they are naturally gravitating toward Argentinian Tango which is flourishing with good programming of steps combined with improvisation.
- hutzlibu 3y ago
  Ecstatic dancing is rather my take. And sometimes people are staring at you .. but one learns not to care.
  - block_dagger 3y ago
    As someone who has attended over 200 Phish concerts, 80% of those solo, I invite all of you to join in the joy of 20,000 people dancing however they want and fitting right in.
saiya-jin 3y ago
Travel. Exotic, remote, cca unspoiled even if poor places. Don't have exact plan, just return ticket and ideas/knowledge. If you are alone, people strike conversations more easily, you get much much more from these interactions than just pretty beach or mountain pictures. Vacations you will keep thinking about till your last breath, even if its sometimes more difficult during them. South east Asia or South America are great for those. I know quite a few people who literally can't just go on their own. They will bundle up with dubious people and go to subpar vacation they will hate afterwards, but its simply a mental block too big to overcome.
- makapuf 3y ago
  Definitely travel, just be responsible of your Carbon impact please.
  - shmde 3y ago
    I have a connection on LinkedIn who works in a leadership position in Microsoft who had recently written a post about why she doesn't send "thank you" email because she wants to save the world by reducing their carbon footprint by reducing the number of emails sent. I am a liberal at heart but I really wanted to comment "Shut up, please shut up, I am begging you to shut up." I want to say the same to you.
    - kawhah 3y ago
      It seems odd to treat the suggestion that unnecessary emails cause excessive carbon emisions and the suggestion that unnecessary air travel causes excessive carbon emissions as the same or similar.
      - jmye 3y ago
        Do you think one has a meaningful impact? I think the implication is that on an individual level neither matters, and that suggesting, on social media, people stop traveling to prevent climate change is both ridiculous and harmful to anyone working to actually improve carbon emissions.
        saiya-jin 3y ago
        Yeah good intentions do often backfire (road to hell...), and this is one of the ways. Shaming folks for stuff they do normally when alternative is simply stop seeing parents and grandparents (for us this is currently way more carbon than all vacations combined). People simply shut off and go on to have a life, there is only so much existential dread you can pour on civilization before it becomes next norm, facts be damned. I have 2 small kids, life is often a daily struggle in one way or another, I couldn't care less about current carbon footprint just like I don't care about another non-urgent bottom 500 priority stuff. Vote in politicians that will take care of that instead of focusing on smooth corporate profits if you want to send positive message and change, and motivate folks to do the same to increase impact.
jiggawatts 3y ago
For me the weird thing is that I couldn't imagine myself eating alone at a restaurant (and basically never did)... until I had to travel for work. Suddenly, eating at restaurants by myself was mandatory, and it was perfectly fine and normal. Nothing to be scared of. Now I can eat by myself wherever, whenever, no issues. It's strange how being forced to do something can make you change your perspective so completely.
- Folcon 3y ago
  Not really, I think it's about that self-narrative, if you find a pathway to telling yourself how something is normal, well then clearly it is. You know how. Before being forced to, the narratives you probably had about someone eating by themselves were all about being loners or at least something negative. Now you know more reasons and the new reasons feel positive or socially acceptable, so you're willing to do the activity. I suspect there's a step in the middle of this which is rationally coming to the reason vs experiencing it which also makes a difference. IE I can do some uncomfortable activity because I believe some reason that it's ok, but haven't experienced it, vs I've experienced an activity and now know it's fine, so now it's comfortable or easier.
- astura 3y ago
  I mean... It's definitely not mandatory, like at all, when I travel alone for work I usually get takeout. The only time I'll ever eat at the restaurant is at the bar and only if I'm also getting several drinks.
- mikub 3y ago
  It's strange how we can think about totally normal situations as being awkward. I always liked the scene in the movie "As good as it get's" where Jack Nicholson asks Holly Hunt to go for a walk, and she replies that it's very early in the morning and it would be strange to walk through the city at that time, and Jack Nicholson then say's "Yes, but in 20 minutes the Cafe down the block opens. If we go there we're not some weirdos walking around in the morning, we're just two people getting some coffee." I don't know if the conversation was exactly like that(been a while since I saw that movie) but you should get my point I hope. :)
pjerem 3y ago
Honestly it’s not the shame that make me avoid this but it’s more the lack of sense I feel to an experience if I don’t share it with someone. As an example, I have no issue eating alone in a restaurant if it’s needed and I can even appreciate the loneliness when it happens but I can’t see the interest to go out alone on my own. But I can acknowledge that maybe I’m missing something.
- xp84 3y ago
  Sounds like the way I usually feel silly to go to a movie alone. This must be some kind of marketing thing because it’s like the least social experience yet we are told that movies = date (LOL!) or friends outing.
paradite 3y ago
For me it's mostly vibe and ambiance issue with the restaurants. "Fast food" restaurants that serve your meal quickly are usually friendly to single person. Maybe a community curated list of places that are friendly to solo diners would be helpful? I have a few that I visit often.
- etothepii 3y ago
  At my club in London we have the club table (seats 24) set aside for those who are dining alone. It's an interesting way to meet people from time to time and you can bring a book down from the library or get your e-reader out if there is no one else. You can't introduce non-members unless no one at the table objects.
  - paradite 3y ago
    That's different from what I have in mind. I guess what I really mean is "dine in solitude".
    - etothepii 3y ago
      We also have 8 or so tables set aside for one. These have a special book stand so that one can read a book if one wants to.
  - xp84 3y ago
    How does one join such a club? (The spirit of the article dictates that I’m allowed to ask about it ;) )
    - etothepii 3y ago
      Usually clubs require that 2 (or more) people introduce you. This can be difficult to establish. However, my club in London is the Oxford & Cambridge club which is typically very easy to get into if you have matriculated at either of the universities.

by slyall 3y ago

lovelyviking 3y ago

Shockingly dancing was not mentioned? Or have I missed it? I’ve encouraged many programmers to start dancing as they are naturally gravitating toward Argentinian Tango which is flourishing with good programming of steps combined with improvisation.

hutzlibu 3y ago
Ecstatic dancing is rather my take. And sometimes people are staring at you .. but one learns not to care.
- block_dagger 3y ago
  As someone who has attended over 200 Phish concerts, 80% of those solo, I invite all of you to join in the joy of 20,000 people dancing however they want and fitting right in.

saiya-jin 3y ago

Travel. Exotic, remote, cca unspoiled even if poor places. Don't have exact plan, just return ticket and ideas/knowledge. If you are alone, people strike conversations more easily, you get much much more from these interactions than just pretty beach or mountain pictures. Vacations you will keep thinking about till your last breath, even if its sometimes more difficult during them. South east Asia or South America are great for those. I know quite a few people who literally can't just go on their own. They will bundle up with dubious people and go to subpar vacation they will hate afterwards, but its simply a mental block too big to overcome.

makapuf 3y ago
Definitely travel, just be responsible of your Carbon impact please.
- shmde 3y ago
  I have a connection on LinkedIn who works in a leadership position in Microsoft who had recently written a post about why she doesn't send "thank you" email because she wants to save the world by reducing their carbon footprint by reducing the number of emails sent. I am a liberal at heart but I really wanted to comment "Shut up, please shut up, I am begging you to shut up." I want to say the same to you.
  - kawhah 3y ago
    It seems odd to treat the suggestion that unnecessary emails cause excessive carbon emisions and the suggestion that unnecessary air travel causes excessive carbon emissions as the same or similar.
    - jmye 3y ago
      Do you think one has a meaningful impact? I think the implication is that on an individual level neither matters, and that suggesting, on social media, people stop traveling to prevent climate change is both ridiculous and harmful to anyone working to actually improve carbon emissions.
      - saiya-jin 3y ago
        Yeah good intentions do often backfire (road to hell...), and this is one of the ways. Shaming folks for stuff they do normally when alternative is simply stop seeing parents and grandparents (for us this is currently way more carbon than all vacations combined). People simply shut off and go on to have a life, there is only so much existential dread you can pour on civilization before it becomes next norm, facts be damned. I have 2 small kids, life is often a daily struggle in one way or another, I couldn't care less about current carbon footprint just like I don't care about another non-urgent bottom 500 priority stuff. Vote in politicians that will take care of that instead of focusing on smooth corporate profits if you want to send positive message and change, and motivate folks to do the same to increase impact.

jiggawatts 3y ago

For me the weird thing is that I couldn't imagine myself eating alone at a restaurant (and basically never did)... until I had to travel for work. Suddenly, eating at restaurants by myself was mandatory, and it was perfectly fine and normal. Nothing to be scared of. Now I can eat by myself wherever, whenever, no issues. It's strange how being forced to do something can make you change your perspective so completely.

Folcon 3y ago
Not really, I think it's about that self-narrative, if you find a pathway to telling yourself how something is normal, well then clearly it is. You know how. Before being forced to, the narratives you probably had about someone eating by themselves were all about being loners or at least something negative. Now you know more reasons and the new reasons feel positive or socially acceptable, so you're willing to do the activity. I suspect there's a step in the middle of this which is rationally coming to the reason vs experiencing it which also makes a difference. IE I can do some uncomfortable activity because I believe some reason that it's ok, but haven't experienced it, vs I've experienced an activity and now know it's fine, so now it's comfortable or easier.
astura 3y ago
I mean... It's definitely not mandatory, like at all, when I travel alone for work I usually get takeout. The only time I'll ever eat at the restaurant is at the bar and only if I'm also getting several drinks.
mikub 3y ago
It's strange how we can think about totally normal situations as being awkward. I always liked the scene in the movie "As good as it get's" where Jack Nicholson asks Holly Hunt to go for a walk, and she replies that it's very early in the morning and it would be strange to walk through the city at that time, and Jack Nicholson then say's "Yes, but in 20 minutes the Cafe down the block opens. If we go there we're not some weirdos walking around in the morning, we're just two people getting some coffee." I don't know if the conversation was exactly like that(been a while since I saw that movie) but you should get my point I hope. :)

pjerem 3y ago

Honestly it’s not the shame that make me avoid this but it’s more the lack of sense I feel to an experience if I don’t share it with someone. As an example, I have no issue eating alone in a restaurant if it’s needed and I can even appreciate the loneliness when it happens but I can’t see the interest to go out alone on my own. But I can acknowledge that maybe I’m missing something.

xp84 3y ago
Sounds like the way I usually feel silly to go to a movie alone. This must be some kind of marketing thing because it’s like the least social experience yet we are told that movies = date (LOL!) or friends outing.

paradite 3y ago

For me it's mostly vibe and ambiance issue with the restaurants. "Fast food" restaurants that serve your meal quickly are usually friendly to single person. Maybe a community curated list of places that are friendly to solo diners would be helpful? I have a few that I visit often.

etothepii 3y ago
At my club in London we have the club table (seats 24) set aside for those who are dining alone. It's an interesting way to meet people from time to time and you can bring a book down from the library or get your e-reader out if there is no one else. You can't introduce non-members unless no one at the table objects.
- paradite 3y ago
  That's different from what I have in mind. I guess what I really mean is "dine in solitude".
  - etothepii 3y ago
    We also have 8 or so tables set aside for one. These have a special book stand so that one can read a book if one wants to.
- xp84 3y ago
  How does one join such a club? (The spirit of the article dictates that I’m allowed to ask about it ;) )
  - etothepii 3y ago
    Usually clubs require that 2 (or more) people introduce you. This can be difficult to establish. However, my club in London is the Oxford & Cambridge club which is typically very easy to get into if you have matriculated at either of the universities.