I am the MD of a small company. I have two partners and 15 employees. We are a private company and we can do what ever we like (within reason). If we decided

I am the MD of a small company. I have two partners and 15 employees. We are a private company and we can do what ever we like (within reason). If we decided to try and grab a pot of cash from quivering investors to do mad things we would go for a listing - go public. Nowadays we would flood Insta/X/FB and that with all sorts of wankery and perhaps bother with the usual media and then show a bit of ankle to an exchange and then go with a prudent offering. We would offer x shares for y price. Obviously, the world goes mad for us and buys the lot and with full capitalisation we become a unicorn with a rainbow mane. The papers are agog with how cool I am and TikTok explodes with how cool male pattern baldness really is. y goes berserk and we have to split the bloody things to allow plebs to have a crack. We are talking about money and not physics. I am a journeyman.