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Wider cooperation in child-rearing is different than a desire to have lots of children. When you have cousins or neighbors that share their places, food and att

Wider cooperation in child-rearing is different than a desire to have lots of children. When you have cousins or neighbors that share their places, food and attention with each others' kids, it's a bigger world for the kids, better community overall. We just don't need that many children to carry on the family name anymore. We may also have evolved to have lots of children because sex is fun and compelling. So contraception might have been desirable to any society that simply didn't need to defend itself and had good health care.

rayiner 3y ago
US ideal family size is 2.7, about one whole kid than the total fertility rate: https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-larger-families-highest-1971.aspx https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-lar.... Almost half of Americans, 45%, think three or more kids is ideal. The logistics of child rearing could certainly help explain why there’s a gap between the number of kids people want and how many they end up having.
- lotsofpulp 3y ago
  I am curious what the ideal number of kids is amongst women per the number of pregnancies and births they have had. I bet there is quite a dip in ideal number of kids after going through pregnancy, childbirth, and infant rearing for the first kid, and the second kid.
  - rayiner 3y ago
    I haven’t seen the data, though it should be possible to figure it out from the GSS. The Gallup data shows a moderate dip in the percentage of people who want three or more kids from 18-29 (52%) and 30-49 (42%). https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-larger-families-highest-1971.aspx https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-lar.... That could be partly a decrease in ideal family size during the period when people are parents. But it could also be ethnic differences: the 30-49 generation is whiter than the 18-29 generation. Only 41% of whites want 3 or more kids, versus 53% of hispanics and 57% of blacks. In my observation it’s often the opposite. My wife didn’t want any kids when we first met, then wanted one immediately, then was sad after we decided to stop at three.
    - lotsofpulp 3y ago
      In my circles, every single woman, including my wife, did not want more than 2, and that was mostly so the kids have a sibling and so we can experience parenting a boy and a girl. This extends to my parents’ generation too. It is almost bizarre to meet someone with more than 1 sibling who is not 60+ years old. Out of 20+ couples off the top of my head, I only know of two couples that had 3 kids, and that was because the first two were the same gender, and they wanted both genders.
      - rayiner 3y ago
        I guess we stick together. Out of six people with kids in my office, three of us have three kids. (Nothing like my wife’s office, where three kids was table stakes, 4-5 was typical, and one guy had 10.) On my street there’s about a dozen houses, and one other family has three kids, and another has two but would have a third if they could swing it financially. Until last year, there was a third family on our block with three. Out of families at our church with young kids, probably half have three (we’re not Catholic). One of my law school friends has three, though most did stop at two.

rayiner 3y ago

US ideal family size is 2.7, about one whole kid than the total fertility rate: https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-larger-families-highest-1971.aspx https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-lar.... Almost half of Americans, 45%, think three or more kids is ideal. The logistics of child rearing could certainly help explain why there’s a gap between the number of kids people want and how many they end up having.

lotsofpulp 3y ago
I am curious what the ideal number of kids is amongst women per the number of pregnancies and births they have had. I bet there is quite a dip in ideal number of kids after going through pregnancy, childbirth, and infant rearing for the first kid, and the second kid.
- rayiner 3y ago
  I haven’t seen the data, though it should be possible to figure it out from the GSS. The Gallup data shows a moderate dip in the percentage of people who want three or more kids from 18-29 (52%) and 30-49 (42%). https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-larger-families-highest-1971.aspx https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-lar.... That could be partly a decrease in ideal family size during the period when people are parents. But it could also be ethnic differences: the 30-49 generation is whiter than the 18-29 generation. Only 41% of whites want 3 or more kids, versus 53% of hispanics and 57% of blacks. In my observation it’s often the opposite. My wife didn’t want any kids when we first met, then wanted one immediately, then was sad after we decided to stop at three.
  - lotsofpulp 3y ago
    In my circles, every single woman, including my wife, did not want more than 2, and that was mostly so the kids have a sibling and so we can experience parenting a boy and a girl. This extends to my parents’ generation too. It is almost bizarre to meet someone with more than 1 sibling who is not 60+ years old. Out of 20+ couples off the top of my head, I only know of two couples that had 3 kids, and that was because the first two were the same gender, and they wanted both genders.
    - rayiner 3y ago
      I guess we stick together. Out of six people with kids in my office, three of us have three kids. (Nothing like my wife’s office, where three kids was table stakes, 4-5 was typical, and one guy had 10.) On my street there’s about a dozen houses, and one other family has three kids, and another has two but would have a third if they could swing it financially. Until last year, there was a third family on our block with three. Out of families at our church with young kids, probably half have three (we’re not Catholic). One of my law school friends has three, though most did stop at two.