5 ms·

The Meaning of Melancholy

64 points by keiferski 3y ago

ithkuil 3y ago
Reminds me of Victor Hugo's famous quote: 'Melancholy is the happiness of being sad,' (La mélancolie, c'est le bonheur d'être triste)
- aftoprokrustes 3y ago
  This fits. The way the interviewee describes his relation witho Tolstoy couldbe the way I describe my relation with Hugo. I was obsessed with him for a few years, and read most of his fiction. It changed my relation with the world, and in particular obstacles and sadness
- layer8 3y ago
  I can’t quite put my finger on it, but for me melancholy doesn’t imply sadness.
AltruisticGapHN 3y ago
On my journey healing trauma I find that it is when I feel a deep sadness that I feel more alive. Gabor Maté confirms that grief is ultimately how we heal trauma. Sadness is an emotion that lets us move from the past. A way of saying "goodbye". Crucially we can be stuck for years on end not allowing ourselves to grieve. For childhood trauma for example it is quite challenging... you're grieving the loss of a father, mother that were never there physically or emotionally. Grieving the loss of safety, of a home that never was. Grieving all the things that didn't come to pass... but unfortunately grieving is necessary. I've often felt a sense of melancholy in my younger years long before I looked into the nervous system and modern body-based trauma therapies like Somatic Experiencing, Polyvagal Theory etc. So my hunch is while melancholy feels good at some level, it can also be like a stuck state. Like halfway through grieving but not really allowing yourself to grieve fully and move on. But I could be wrong and perhaps melancholy is a thing of its own. Grief certainly is very challenging as it comes in waves and is never really gone, it seems.
- lordfrito 3y ago
  Thank you for this. I can completely relate. Something about sadness making you feel alive. And being stuck for years not grieving, not knowing how, or even knowing that's what you need to do. The challenge of being stuck like that is that you can't really communicate that or share it in a meaningful way with other people. I wonder sometimes if it's a self imposed purgatory.
  - AltruisticGapHN 3y ago
    Yeah there is really no way to "do" grieving. I have been crying on and off late in the evening in recent years - but only with a few channels on YouTube I like. I think it is a body based process ultimately so reason doesn't help. It seems that music really helps to move emotion. Snatam Kaur has always been very helpful, especially when I feel more disconnected. Always come back to her. All her music is free on YoUTube pretty much. Here is one of my favorites https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLpWqulUgtk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLpWqulUgtk I also love Trout and Coffee. Something about the channel, the family, friendships, nature ... his cabin videos are amazing. The music on his earlier videos has really helped me cope with those emotions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbZu4gXg-7w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbZu4gXg-7w PS: also one of my favorites is this channel "TABI-IE", really soothing.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpWcZOPhFwU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpWcZOPhFwU I have noticed no matter how safe a person makes me feel for example Steve Wallis camping videos - I don't think I've ever cried while watching one of his videos. It's really the music coupled with something that feels genuine, that helps move emotion (but I guess this could vary a lot from people to people).
    - temp0826 3y ago
      Ayahuasca can be a huge boon for processing grief. Sometimes you are mentally over it, but it is indeed still stuck in the body. Psychedelics can help what you cognitively know to percolate through the body.
  - namtab00 3y ago
    Genuine question: if grieving is, ultimately, thinking about the experienced loss, isn't melancholy the exact same thing, but experienced through rose-tinted glasses?
PopAlongKid 3y ago
The Anatomy of Melancholy (1621) In his satirical preface to the reader, Burton's persona and pseudonym Democritus Junior" explains, "I write of melancholy by being busy to avoid melancholy." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Anatomy_of_Melancholy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Anatomy_of_Melancholy
uptownJimmy 3y ago
Steven Soderbergh's The Limey covers a lot of ground, but I think it expresses as powerful a sense of melancholy as any modern film. Highly recommended.

64 points by keiferski 3y ago

Reminds me of Victor Hugo's famous quote: 'Melancholy is the happiness of being sad,' (La mélancolie, c'est le bonheur d'être triste)

aftoprokrustes 3y ago
This fits. The way the interviewee describes his relation witho Tolstoy couldbe the way I describe my relation with Hugo. I was obsessed with him for a few years, and read most of his fiction. It changed my relation with the world, and in particular obstacles and sadness
layer8 3y ago
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but for me melancholy doesn’t imply sadness.

AltruisticGapHN 3y ago

On my journey healing trauma I find that it is when I feel a deep sadness that I feel more alive. Gabor Maté confirms that grief is ultimately how we heal trauma. Sadness is an emotion that lets us move from the past. A way of saying "goodbye". Crucially we can be stuck for years on end not allowing ourselves to grieve. For childhood trauma for example it is quite challenging... you're grieving the loss of a father, mother that were never there physically or emotionally. Grieving the loss of safety, of a home that never was. Grieving all the things that didn't come to pass... but unfortunately grieving is necessary. I've often felt a sense of melancholy in my younger years long before I looked into the nervous system and modern body-based trauma therapies like Somatic Experiencing, Polyvagal Theory etc. So my hunch is while melancholy feels good at some level, it can also be like a stuck state. Like halfway through grieving but not really allowing yourself to grieve fully and move on. But I could be wrong and perhaps melancholy is a thing of its own. Grief certainly is very challenging as it comes in waves and is never really gone, it seems.

lordfrito 3y ago
Thank you for this. I can completely relate. Something about sadness making you feel alive. And being stuck for years not grieving, not knowing how, or even knowing that's what you need to do. The challenge of being stuck like that is that you can't really communicate that or share it in a meaningful way with other people. I wonder sometimes if it's a self imposed purgatory.
- AltruisticGapHN 3y ago
  Yeah there is really no way to "do" grieving. I have been crying on and off late in the evening in recent years - but only with a few channels on YouTube I like. I think it is a body based process ultimately so reason doesn't help. It seems that music really helps to move emotion. Snatam Kaur has always been very helpful, especially when I feel more disconnected. Always come back to her. All her music is free on YoUTube pretty much. Here is one of my favorites https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLpWqulUgtk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLpWqulUgtk I also love Trout and Coffee. Something about the channel, the family, friendships, nature ... his cabin videos are amazing. The music on his earlier videos has really helped me cope with those emotions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbZu4gXg-7w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbZu4gXg-7w PS: also one of my favorites is this channel "TABI-IE", really soothing.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpWcZOPhFwU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpWcZOPhFwU I have noticed no matter how safe a person makes me feel for example Steve Wallis camping videos - I don't think I've ever cried while watching one of his videos. It's really the music coupled with something that feels genuine, that helps move emotion (but I guess this could vary a lot from people to people).
  - temp0826 3y ago
    Ayahuasca can be a huge boon for processing grief. Sometimes you are mentally over it, but it is indeed still stuck in the body. Psychedelics can help what you cognitively know to percolate through the body.
- namtab00 3y ago
  Genuine question: if grieving is, ultimately, thinking about the experienced loss, isn't melancholy the exact same thing, but experienced through rose-tinted glasses?

PopAlongKid 3y ago

The Anatomy of Melancholy (1621) In his satirical preface to the reader, Burton's persona and pseudonym Democritus Junior" explains, "I write of melancholy by being busy to avoid melancholy." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Anatomy_of_Melancholy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Anatomy_of_Melancholy

uptownJimmy 3y ago

Steven Soderbergh's The Limey covers a lot of ground, but I think it expresses as powerful a sense of melancholy as any modern film. Highly recommended.