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I thought I would, but I'm no longer sold on full remote work having done it since 2018. I didn't realize just how much of my social interaction came from work

I thought I would, but I'm no longer sold on full remote work having done it since 2018. I didn't realize just how much of my social interaction came from work and it's something I've not been able to recreate outside of work in my free time. I am hopelessly lonely and the mental health affects have at least in my case been dire. At the same time I'm afraid to RTO because if for some reason I need the flexibility of WFH again there's a good chance I won't easily find another job that allows it. We talk about the loss of third places, but some of us have lost our second places too.

lnsru 3y ago
Your colleagues are not your friends. You’re more like passenger in the same bus where somebody will depart in the next stop. It’s dangerous to build relationships with people who are about to leave.
- dukeyukey 3y ago
  > It’s dangerous to build relationships with people who are about to leave. Why? I get the argument about not getting too close with coworkers (although I've never encountered those problems with mins, and I've made good friends everywhere I've worked), but why are people who are about to leave worse?
- oHqgTQUT 3y ago
  I have made many life long friends at work, who I am still friends with to this day, many years after we left the companies we both worked at. I'm sure many other people have too. You need some kind of social bond with the people you work with. What are you going to do instead? Treat the people you work with like robots where every interaction is a barter or request of some kind like "Hi, can you review this please. Thanks." every single day for the entirety of your employment at this company?
  - lnsru 3y ago
    Nice that it worked out well for you. The last friendly colleague relocated to the other town. Guess if we will meet again with 1,5 hours driving distance. It was nice relationship with 35 minutes driving, but now obviously it’s over. I will have new colleagues and he will be envy, that I left toxic place and he stayed. The colleagues are not much more than robots. Wait for another promotion or layoff round. Nice for you if you’re not competing with others for more money or job security.
    - oHqgTQUT 3y ago
      > The last friendly colleague relocated to the other town. Guess if we will meet again with 1,5 hours driving distance. It was nice relationship with 35 minutes driving, but now obviously it’s over. Some of my old colleagues moved across the atlantic. We still keep in contact - one of whom I speak to daily. Have you tried contacting your friendly colleague or tried meeting up with them? 1.5h is not very far.
- BizarreByte 3y ago
  Without fail this is always the response "coworkers aren't your friends". I didn't say they were and more importantly coworkers don't need to be your friends for you to have social interactions with them. I found those in person workplace interactions helpful for my overall mental health, because even a throwaway conversation at lunch time provides some contact with another person. 99% of the time these days the only person I talk to on a given day is the cashier at the store. I think you don't appreciate how bad some of us have it on this front, but for some of us work was a social outlet.
  - lnsru 3y ago
    How about some volunteering in the community? There are many opportunities for communication. Even more if you have kids. I have elder lady next door and we have random lunch conversations when I fix occasionally something in her old house.

lnsru 3y ago

Your colleagues are not your friends. You’re more like passenger in the same bus where somebody will depart in the next stop. It’s dangerous to build relationships with people who are about to leave.

dukeyukey 3y ago
> It’s dangerous to build relationships with people who are about to leave. Why? I get the argument about not getting too close with coworkers (although I've never encountered those problems with mins, and I've made good friends everywhere I've worked), but why are people who are about to leave worse?
oHqgTQUT 3y ago
I have made many life long friends at work, who I am still friends with to this day, many years after we left the companies we both worked at. I'm sure many other people have too. You need some kind of social bond with the people you work with. What are you going to do instead? Treat the people you work with like robots where every interaction is a barter or request of some kind like "Hi, can you review this please. Thanks." every single day for the entirety of your employment at this company?
- lnsru 3y ago
  Nice that it worked out well for you. The last friendly colleague relocated to the other town. Guess if we will meet again with 1,5 hours driving distance. It was nice relationship with 35 minutes driving, but now obviously it’s over. I will have new colleagues and he will be envy, that I left toxic place and he stayed. The colleagues are not much more than robots. Wait for another promotion or layoff round. Nice for you if you’re not competing with others for more money or job security.
  - oHqgTQUT 3y ago
    > The last friendly colleague relocated to the other town. Guess if we will meet again with 1,5 hours driving distance. It was nice relationship with 35 minutes driving, but now obviously it’s over. Some of my old colleagues moved across the atlantic. We still keep in contact - one of whom I speak to daily. Have you tried contacting your friendly colleague or tried meeting up with them? 1.5h is not very far.
BizarreByte 3y ago
Without fail this is always the response "coworkers aren't your friends". I didn't say they were and more importantly coworkers don't need to be your friends for you to have social interactions with them. I found those in person workplace interactions helpful for my overall mental health, because even a throwaway conversation at lunch time provides some contact with another person. 99% of the time these days the only person I talk to on a given day is the cashier at the store. I think you don't appreciate how bad some of us have it on this front, but for some of us work was a social outlet.
- lnsru 3y ago
  How about some volunteering in the community? There are many opportunities for communication. Even more if you have kids. I have elder lady next door and we have random lunch conversations when I fix occasionally something in her old house.