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If you are founding a startup and you have a wife, you are more likely to fail than an entrepreneur who is single. And if you have even more commitments like ki

by xwdv 3y ago

If you are founding a startup and you have a wife, you are more likely to fail than an entrepreneur who is single. And if you have even more commitments like kids, or other dependents, your chances only get even worse. The best way to keep your chances of success high is to ensure your life is very fluid and open to change, and that there are no liabilities that can drag you down. If that is not possible, the only remedy is to be independently wealthy.

pton_xd 3y ago
> If you are founding a startup and you have a wife, you are more likely to fail than an entrepreneur who is single. At the very least, having to explain and justify every choice and setback to a non-involved yet judgmental person sounds miserable.
- dotnet00 3y ago
  They are involved when they're your wife/husband.
  - pton_xd 3y ago
    They're not involved in the startup unless they are cofounders.
    - dotnet00 3y ago
      Not being involved in terms of being a founder doesn't make them uninvolved. They're involved in the same way that any of your kids would be involved. Of course your kids wouldn't be co-founders, but that wouldn't make them uninvolved parties to you taking large financial risks and dragging them down with yourself in the case of significant failure.
    - yakshaving_jgt 3y ago
      That’s not how things work in my experience. Founders are still human.
    - jbverschoor 3y ago
      Of course they are.. going on a date, dinner, spending money, reflecting or arguing, basically anything….. It will impact you as a founder, and you, in the startup and scaleup phase, ARE the company
- jedberg 3y ago
  > At the very least, having to explain and justify every choice and setback to a non-involved yet judgmental person sounds miserable. Sounds like the accountability every founder could only dream of having. Good founders generally seek out others that will hold them accountable (accelerators, investors, peer groups). With a spouse you get one for free!
- renewiltord 3y ago
  That's simply an incompatibility in choice of partner. Some people want a stable financial life, with steady slow growth, and long-term planning where the trendline doesn't deviate from the projected growth. Others want to take a shot at the moon, and financial failure in this shape is just part of the deal. If you're in the latter category and you want to pursue that but your wife is in the former category there is going to be some strife. You can't give them the certainty they desire. Someone who is expecting the success case isn't really ready for this when they're considering framing post-its after your successful IPO. As an example, I think most partners of founders I know are easier to talk to. It's not that they're all rah-rah "you're gonna do it!". It's just that you need support and a team. Someone to run ideas by who's a friend. And if you're married to the right person, that's your wife.
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
evtothedev 3y ago
> If you are founding a startup and you have a wife, you are more likely to fail than an entrepreneur who is single. And if you have even more commitments like kids, or other dependents, your chances only get even worse. Do you have any references to back that? Because it sure does seem like older founders-- ones more likely to be married and have kids --yield outsized returns.[1] [1] https://www.forbes.com/sites/kmehta/2022/08/23/older-entrepreneurs-outperform-younger-foundersshattering-ageism/?sh=76ce6d877a36 https://www.forbes.com/sites/kmehta/2022/08/23/older-entrepr...
- xwdv 3y ago
  Don’t be fooled, older founders have considerably more assets and a wealth of connections in their industry, as well as older more independent children. This offsets the wife and family effects.
  - ethanbond 3y ago
    Which... sounds like your original claim is bullshit, ya?
    - xwdv 3y ago
      No, because there are a lot less older founders than younger ones. So when you extrapolate from the data it will seem that having a wife and kids is a negative for a founder’s chances of success.
      - slap_shot 3y ago
        You're actually proving the exact opposite of your initial claim, but at least you are now teasing out the confounding variables that actually explain this. There is no significant causation related to a founder's marital status. > Don’t be fooled, older founders have considerably more assets and a wealth of connections in their industry, as well as older more independent children. This offsets the wife and family effects. > No, because there are a lot less older founders than younger ones. So when you extrapolate from the data it will seem that having a wife and kids is a negative for a founder’s chances of success. These are the the confounding variables you were looking for. Older founders _are_ more successful and it has to do with, among other things, the experience and connections they have, and that people are more risk-averse as they start families. _Coincidentally_, the likelihood of being married increases as one's age increases, which is why you see fewer but more successful founders at the ages they are more likely to be married.
ukd1 3y ago
I'm not sure it's this clear cut. I'm in the partner and kid stage, and whilst I wasn't when I did my last startup - I was mostly single and could do literally what I want, when I want - which is in a lot of ways awesome if the company is the thing you wanna do...now I am more stable (routine wise?), more driven (for family, as well as wanting a win), more experienced (that's aside from being single or not I guess), but do have more responsibilities. I'm at the edge of starting something new. Wish me luck either way.
- xwdv 3y ago
  But do you think you are the exception, or the average?
  - ukd1 3y ago
    TBH, I've no idea. One would hope the exception, but who knows. I'm aware it's gonna be different this time around than the first time, for sure. There are obvious pros, and some obvious cons. Either way I'm going for it though lol. I think I just need to figure out what the limits are with the fam explicitly.
renewiltord 3y ago
That's interesting. My friends run startups (a couple of billion-dollar valued ones) and to be honest, those with wives and families seem to find it easier to do. Personally, having married, I find that this is a massive boost to my personal ability. Not only was the optionality I previously had a curse, but staying on task is much easier with a partner looking out for me, and for my part I find it easier to make good decisions when I'm thinking about this team of us over myself. Plus there's just the fact that marrying another high-earner means you have a more stable income when the streams are diversified. Of course every person is different and perhaps you perform better single, but my experience and what I observe of my friends is different here in our 30s.
- jbverschoor 3y ago
  Totally depends on the partner. Good partner -> better chance of a good outcome. Bad partner -> good luck with staying sane from being surrounded in stress 24/7
  - xwdv 3y ago
    As an investor, if a founder's partner is considered "bad" or toxic, they will reject investing in them, as it will likely mean the startup will suffer as a result of personal relationship issues. This decreases chances of success.
    - jbverschoor 3y ago
      5 more karma and you can retire ;-)
      - xwdv 3y ago
        Not sure I’ll make it. Usually a flurry of downvotes come in and drags me back.
        jbverschoor 3y ago
        lol gotta love HN

by xwdv 3y ago

pton_xd 3y ago

> If you are founding a startup and you have a wife, you are more likely to fail than an entrepreneur who is single. At the very least, having to explain and justify every choice and setback to a non-involved yet judgmental person sounds miserable.

dotnet00 3y ago
They are involved when they're your wife/husband.
- pton_xd 3y ago
  They're not involved in the startup unless they are cofounders.
  - dotnet00 3y ago
    Not being involved in terms of being a founder doesn't make them uninvolved. They're involved in the same way that any of your kids would be involved. Of course your kids wouldn't be co-founders, but that wouldn't make them uninvolved parties to you taking large financial risks and dragging them down with yourself in the case of significant failure.
  - yakshaving_jgt 3y ago
    That’s not how things work in my experience. Founders are still human.
  - jbverschoor 3y ago
    Of course they are.. going on a date, dinner, spending money, reflecting or arguing, basically anything….. It will impact you as a founder, and you, in the startup and scaleup phase, ARE the company
jedberg 3y ago
> At the very least, having to explain and justify every choice and setback to a non-involved yet judgmental person sounds miserable. Sounds like the accountability every founder could only dream of having. Good founders generally seek out others that will hold them accountable (accelerators, investors, peer groups). With a spouse you get one for free!
renewiltord 3y ago
That's simply an incompatibility in choice of partner. Some people want a stable financial life, with steady slow growth, and long-term planning where the trendline doesn't deviate from the projected growth. Others want to take a shot at the moon, and financial failure in this shape is just part of the deal. If you're in the latter category and you want to pursue that but your wife is in the former category there is going to be some strife. You can't give them the certainty they desire. Someone who is expecting the success case isn't really ready for this when they're considering framing post-its after your successful IPO. As an example, I think most partners of founders I know are easier to talk to. It's not that they're all rah-rah "you're gonna do it!". It's just that you need support and a team. Someone to run ideas by who's a friend. And if you're married to the right person, that's your wife.

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]

evtothedev 3y ago

> If you are founding a startup and you have a wife, you are more likely to fail than an entrepreneur who is single. And if you have even more commitments like kids, or other dependents, your chances only get even worse. Do you have any references to back that? Because it sure does seem like older founders-- ones more likely to be married and have kids --yield outsized returns.[1] [1] https://www.forbes.com/sites/kmehta/2022/08/23/older-entrepreneurs-outperform-younger-foundersshattering-ageism/?sh=76ce6d877a36 https://www.forbes.com/sites/kmehta/2022/08/23/older-entrepr...

xwdv 3y ago
Don’t be fooled, older founders have considerably more assets and a wealth of connections in their industry, as well as older more independent children. This offsets the wife and family effects.
- ethanbond 3y ago
  Which... sounds like your original claim is bullshit, ya?
  - xwdv 3y ago
    No, because there are a lot less older founders than younger ones. So when you extrapolate from the data it will seem that having a wife and kids is a negative for a founder’s chances of success.
    - slap_shot 3y ago
      You're actually proving the exact opposite of your initial claim, but at least you are now teasing out the confounding variables that actually explain this. There is no significant causation related to a founder's marital status. > Don’t be fooled, older founders have considerably more assets and a wealth of connections in their industry, as well as older more independent children. This offsets the wife and family effects. > No, because there are a lot less older founders than younger ones. So when you extrapolate from the data it will seem that having a wife and kids is a negative for a founder’s chances of success. These are the the confounding variables you were looking for. Older founders _are_ more successful and it has to do with, among other things, the experience and connections they have, and that people are more risk-averse as they start families. _Coincidentally_, the likelihood of being married increases as one's age increases, which is why you see fewer but more successful founders at the ages they are more likely to be married.

ukd1 3y ago

I'm not sure it's this clear cut. I'm in the partner and kid stage, and whilst I wasn't when I did my last startup - I was mostly single and could do literally what I want, when I want - which is in a lot of ways awesome if the company is the thing you wanna do...now I am more stable (routine wise?), more driven (for family, as well as wanting a win), more experienced (that's aside from being single or not I guess), but do have more responsibilities. I'm at the edge of starting something new. Wish me luck either way.

xwdv 3y ago
But do you think you are the exception, or the average?
- ukd1 3y ago
  TBH, I've no idea. One would hope the exception, but who knows. I'm aware it's gonna be different this time around than the first time, for sure. There are obvious pros, and some obvious cons. Either way I'm going for it though lol. I think I just need to figure out what the limits are with the fam explicitly.

renewiltord 3y ago

That's interesting. My friends run startups (a couple of billion-dollar valued ones) and to be honest, those with wives and families seem to find it easier to do. Personally, having married, I find that this is a massive boost to my personal ability. Not only was the optionality I previously had a curse, but staying on task is much easier with a partner looking out for me, and for my part I find it easier to make good decisions when I'm thinking about this team of us over myself. Plus there's just the fact that marrying another high-earner means you have a more stable income when the streams are diversified. Of course every person is different and perhaps you perform better single, but my experience and what I observe of my friends is different here in our 30s.

jbverschoor 3y ago
Totally depends on the partner. Good partner -> better chance of a good outcome. Bad partner -> good luck with staying sane from being surrounded in stress 24/7
- xwdv 3y ago
  As an investor, if a founder's partner is considered "bad" or toxic, they will reject investing in them, as it will likely mean the startup will suffer as a result of personal relationship issues. This decreases chances of success.
  - jbverschoor 3y ago
    5 more karma and you can retire ;-)
    - xwdv 3y ago
      Not sure I’ll make it. Usually a flurry of downvotes come in and drags me back.
      - jbverschoor 3y ago
        lol gotta love HN