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> It gets rude when people start subtly shaming you for not working on things. Seems like OP perceived shame by being asked this, though. -- Why would anyone a

> It gets rude when people start subtly shaming you for not working on things. Seems like OP perceived shame by being asked this, though. -- Why would anyone ask "what's the status of this project?" (or however politely you want to phrase it) if the project were clearly being maintained? There's at least a meta-message of "you're not working on this enough", even without otherwise being hostile/rude. I'm reminded of the "ask vs guess culture" differences. But as you say, users aren't owed reliability. Perhaps a better interaction would have been "Is this dead?" "I haven't been working on it. I hope to work on it soon, though. But, I would rather not have to deal with PRs from others". Still, I think it'd be better if people didn't have to walk on eggshells when making interactions; and to reserve accusations of rudeness for more overt or persistent badgering.

matheusmoreira 3y ago
> There's at least a meta-message of "you're not working on this enough", even without otherwise being hostile/rude. There's many implied messages in everything we say and do. The action of not working on something sends a clear message and communicates a lot of information: you're doing something else with your time. The "you're not working on this" message will be received and understood by others because the repository is public and anyone can see the activity. It's just a statement of fact. The "not working on this enough" message is definitely insulting because it implies obligation but I didn't receive that message in this case. Maybe it's just me. What that action doesn't communicate though is intent. Perhaps the developer intends to work on it but hasn't been able to because life happens. Perhaps they're just sick of the project and want out which is also absolutely fine. I think the questions were just attempting to clarify the intent. Another message that I felt was overlooked and led to my comment: "I care enough about this project to ask about its future". People ignore things they don't care about, it's like it doesn't even exist. Even hate could be preferable to oblivion. > I think it'd be better if people didn't have to walk on eggshells when making interactions I agree. People are extremely hard.

matheusmoreira 3y ago

> There's at least a meta-message of "you're not working on this enough", even without otherwise being hostile/rude. There's many implied messages in everything we say and do. The action of not working on something sends a clear message and communicates a lot of information: you're doing something else with your time. The "you're not working on this" message will be received and understood by others because the repository is public and anyone can see the activity. It's just a statement of fact. The "not working on this enough" message is definitely insulting because it implies obligation but I didn't receive that message in this case. Maybe it's just me. What that action doesn't communicate though is intent. Perhaps the developer intends to work on it but hasn't been able to because life happens. Perhaps they're just sick of the project and want out which is also absolutely fine. I think the questions were just attempting to clarify the intent. Another message that I felt was overlooked and led to my comment: "I care enough about this project to ask about its future". People ignore things they don't care about, it's like it doesn't even exist. Even hate could be preferable to oblivion. > I think it'd be better if people didn't have to walk on eggshells when making interactions I agree. People are extremely hard.