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I’m surprised the OP and no one else in this discussion have mentioned the single biggest factor in the reduction of random social contact, which are headphones

I’m surprised the OP and no one else in this discussion have mentioned the single biggest factor in the reduction of random social contact, which are headphones, especially earbuds. These send a clear signal of “don’t talk to me” and even if that is not intended, they make initial interactions more awkward because the person often has to do something to stop listening to their device before they can hear anything. In other words, it’s an interruption.

BytesAndGears 3y ago
Very true, but I’ve still been interrupted a few times, and it’s always been positive. Makes me not want to wear earbuds, except that it can be really nice to listen to a podcast on the commute home. Once on a train, two women come up to me as they’re getting in, and start talking (so I take out the earbuds). Turns out they just needed directions and were here for vacation, with no phone service. I saw that they needed to take my stop, so I offered to help and had a nice conversation for 15 minutes with their broken English. They were super friendly and excited to be traveling through my city, and it really made my day to be able to help them and learn about their travel! I wish I had moments like that all the time with strangers.
scottmcdot 3y ago
Agree. Someone in my office wears airpods all the time, probably when they not even in use. I often think about his many missed opportunities to build new relationships.
mgbmtl 3y ago
A friend always has headphones, often not listening to anything, because she would get constantly harassed or hit on otherwise. She doesn't stand out, ordinary looking, but she suspects that's why. But yeah, I interpret headphones as "leave me alone". Although from the article in the Netherlands, I suspect another reason why people use kiosks, is that folks working service jobs might not speak the language fluently, or the person was a tourist. I'm not criticizing anyone, I think it's a nice feature of kiosks.

BytesAndGears 3y ago

Very true, but I’ve still been interrupted a few times, and it’s always been positive. Makes me not want to wear earbuds, except that it can be really nice to listen to a podcast on the commute home. Once on a train, two women come up to me as they’re getting in, and start talking (so I take out the earbuds). Turns out they just needed directions and were here for vacation, with no phone service. I saw that they needed to take my stop, so I offered to help and had a nice conversation for 15 minutes with their broken English. They were super friendly and excited to be traveling through my city, and it really made my day to be able to help them and learn about their travel! I wish I had moments like that all the time with strangers.

scottmcdot 3y ago

Agree. Someone in my office wears airpods all the time, probably when they not even in use. I often think about his many missed opportunities to build new relationships.

mgbmtl 3y ago

A friend always has headphones, often not listening to anything, because she would get constantly harassed or hit on otherwise. She doesn't stand out, ordinary looking, but she suspects that's why. But yeah, I interpret headphones as "leave me alone". Although from the article in the Netherlands, I suspect another reason why people use kiosks, is that folks working service jobs might not speak the language fluently, or the person was a tourist. I'm not criticizing anyone, I think it's a nice feature of kiosks.