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NYT Op-ed: Why Aren't More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like

11 points by johntfella 3y ago

more_corn 3y ago
Ask anyone what dating is like.
- toomuchtodo 3y ago
  Happiness equals reality minus expectations. Edit: Fixed, math word problems are hard.
  - jfim 3y ago
    Shouldn't it be the opposite?
crazydoggers 3y ago
Unfortunately, some non-small percentage of men are awful prospects for marriage and/or raising children. A fair amount of this can be understood if we look clearly at the science of reproductive strategies. Certain men do better at reproducing multiple children by avoiding devoting energy and time to a single family, and instead being promiscuous. Because women are the ones carrying the children and feeding them initially, the genetic reproductive strategy for women usually leaves them bearing the brunt of child care in the face of this. (see “parental investment”)[1] None of this is meant to rationalize or okay the behaviors, but if we don’t look honestly at the causes, especially ones that make us uncomfortable to face, we won’t find solutions. 1. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_mating_strategies https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_mating_strategies
- pauldenton 3y ago
  There's an equal percentage of women who are awful prospects for marriage and/or raising children. Men are the breadwinners and feeding them, even if there is a divorce through child support. Why aren't the women dating and marrying the men in their league?
raxxorraxor 3y ago
The people I know that are getting married aren't really dating as a leisure activity. Those that do often seem to not even want to marry. Of course it is highly culture dependent, but I guess you will only ever find certain personalities that regularly go dating like it was described here. Not to be confused with couples spending time together of course. Women with children might want to look for fathers that also have them. I think nobody can construct an honest indignation if people want to have their first children together. And yes these are experiences and the things you need to build together for long term relationships.
Multicomp 3y ago
https://archive.is/0U2tA https://archive.is/0U2tA

11 points by johntfella 3y ago

more_corn 3y ago

Ask anyone what dating is like.

toomuchtodo 3y ago
Happiness equals reality minus expectations. Edit: Fixed, math word problems are hard.
- jfim 3y ago
  Shouldn't it be the opposite?

crazydoggers 3y ago

Unfortunately, some non-small percentage of men are awful prospects for marriage and/or raising children. A fair amount of this can be understood if we look clearly at the science of reproductive strategies. Certain men do better at reproducing multiple children by avoiding devoting energy and time to a single family, and instead being promiscuous. Because women are the ones carrying the children and feeding them initially, the genetic reproductive strategy for women usually leaves them bearing the brunt of child care in the face of this. (see “parental investment”)[1] None of this is meant to rationalize or okay the behaviors, but if we don’t look honestly at the causes, especially ones that make us uncomfortable to face, we won’t find solutions. 1. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_mating_strategies https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_mating_strategies

pauldenton 3y ago
There's an equal percentage of women who are awful prospects for marriage and/or raising children. Men are the breadwinners and feeding them, even if there is a divorce through child support. Why aren't the women dating and marrying the men in their league?

raxxorraxor 3y ago

The people I know that are getting married aren't really dating as a leisure activity. Those that do often seem to not even want to marry. Of course it is highly culture dependent, but I guess you will only ever find certain personalities that regularly go dating like it was described here. Not to be confused with couples spending time together of course. Women with children might want to look for fathers that also have them. I think nobody can construct an honest indignation if people want to have their first children together. And yes these are experiences and the things you need to build together for long term relationships.

Multicomp 3y ago

https://archive.is/0U2tA https://archive.is/0U2tA