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The whole, “my kids need to learn independence” idea is basically because parents are under financial duress. They’d rather be seen as strict than poor, because
by nickpeterson 3y ago
The whole, “my kids need to learn independence” idea is basically because parents are under financial duress. They’d rather be seen as strict than poor, because it makes them appear to have some power over their lives. Scarcity explains a lot of the policies in poorer areas. Every man for himself brings out the worst in people.
- justinator 3y agoI didn't feel my parents were strict at all - perhaps the opposite. It didn't help that Dr. Spock put out a free range parenting book at about the same time. It was a great excuse for how they just didn't function themselves as parents or to a large part: adults themselves. I did find them very neglectful. I had needs and they didn't do a great job in getting them met. This reinforces the idea that your needs aren't important, and you instead become a people pleaser later in life, in an attempt to "win" the love of others. That's very sick thinking. I'm not for helicopter parents or anything, but there sure is a happy medium somewhere in there. I'm finding out now that I have very obvious learning and attention disabilities, and probably a touch of the 'tism. That should have been picked up relatively easy by the fact that I'm highly intelligent but had a complete lack of being able to do any homework, what-so-ever.