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> I find that a lot of people seem to wait until they feel like "adults" to take on responsibility, and then end up passing up their life (or too much of their

> I find that a lot of people seem to wait until they feel like "adults" to take on responsibility, and then end up passing up their life (or too much of their life) waiting. > Out of all the things in my life that are "adult" (eg, being responsible for people at work, and wife/kids at home) happened before I was totally sure I was up for it. And it's only through diving into those challenges, and growing through that experience, do I feel like an adult now in retrospect. > It takes a little confidence or good peer pressure to get into that. Hear, hear. I want to add that it's important to grow up in an environment where you are taught the world can be managed/tamed/apprehended/handled, not entirely but at least enough to make it out okay. If you don't have that, if you are raised to believe or to think the world is a nasty place that will beat you down and no one tells you can get back up and keep moving forward [0] then it's hard to become an adult on your own unless life throws you hard enough challenges (and I am talking life threatening stuff) that forces you to become an adult (and generally, in those situations, those challenges come way too soon and have life long consequences). I am rambling but it's coherent to me. Feeling like being and adult, being an adult and doing the adult thing when needed or when the opportunity comes your way are all different things. But I believe wanting to be an adult, that is to owning up to your mistakes and taking up responsibility (even and especially when it's not your fault) is a worthy goal. [0] sorry, not sorry ^^

xyzelement 3y ago
I totally agree with your agreement with me :) I also think the current generation has it "harder" - previous generations had positive peer pressure, where it would be very odd to not have a meaningful job, to not marry, to not have kids. So people did those things and by-and-large grew into those responsibilities (not everyone but it worked well enough!) In more recent decades, we pivoted this around - since these lifestyles don't work for everyone, we did a good job of denormalizing. You don't need to work, you don't need to be married, you don't need to have kids -- so many people don't, but also in not-doing, they don't have the change to find why it was the right thing for them - as I believe the majority would.

xyzelement 3y ago

I totally agree with your agreement with me :) I also think the current generation has it "harder" - previous generations had positive peer pressure, where it would be very odd to not have a meaningful job, to not marry, to not have kids. So people did those things and by-and-large grew into those responsibilities (not everyone but it worked well enough!) In more recent decades, we pivoted this around - since these lifestyles don't work for everyone, we did a good job of denormalizing. You don't need to work, you don't need to be married, you don't need to have kids -- so many people don't, but also in not-doing, they don't have the change to find why it was the right thing for them - as I believe the majority would.