I think it all comes down to priorities. "Adults" are the ones that seem to have the best balance of those (for the location/culture) with the most experience l

I think it all comes down to priorities. "Adults" are the ones that seem to have the best balance of those (for the location/culture) with the most experience living out those values (aka they learned it from their parents). Having money that's 75%+ percentile helps too. I've experienced this moving from more rural spots in the south to a NE suburban existence. Lawns and landscaping matters. There is etiquette around how/when to put out your trash cans and leaves. Etiquette for how the kids should play around in the neighborhood. I've had to figure those out on the fly, but the kids learn those rules without even realizing it. I think the most important thing about being an adult is making sure your kids are happy, healthy, and have opportunities to do well and be proud. You can't let them jump on every culture phenomenon, but you also have to let them be a part of the culture they're in. Unless you're doing the exact same thing as your parents did, it's going to take some figuring out, and that's totally ok. It's adult to figure things out.