4 ms·

Finding irrationality unacceptable is also irrational.

by oezi 3y ago

Retric 3y ago
This isn’t some random person off the street, this is someone you’re hopefully spending the majority of your life with. It’s ok to be picky.
- Exoristos 3y ago
  The point is there's no one who is not irrational. It's foundationally human.
  - Retric 3y ago
    Ignoring differences in magnitude is a mistake. Buying a lottery ticket when the jackpot hits a billion dollars and blowing 100k in Las Vegas are both gambling, but the first is essentially harmless fun while the second is a sign of deeper issues.
    - oezi 3y ago
      Right, but OP didn't focus on magnitudes. He found irrationality unacceptable. So likely he wouldn't marry a lottery player or horoscope reader.
  - serf 3y ago
    there is a difference between people who see in themselves that irrationality and express a desire to change or improve, and those that decide that the world needs to bend towards the irrationality, regardless of how uncomfortable that makes others. A line should be drawn when the irrationality of one causes inarguable and debilitating friction in the relationships of that person. In other words : It's okay to be the person who loves pink, dresses in pink, bathes in pink -- until it disallows that person to find meaningful work/friends/mates/whatever; then it's more than just human irrationality, it's the inability to cope with others and the world at large.
  - nonrandomstring 3y ago
    When considering any long term commitment one should ask "In what ways are you mad?". If both of you have enough insight to answer, that's a very solid foundation to work with.
- oezi 3y ago
  Certainly, but I was just pointing out to OP that finding it unacceptable when they person they marry has some kind of irrationality is very strong and likely not logical. For one, the affection most relationships are based on love/affection which isn't rational in most cases.
  - Retric 3y ago
    I’ve seen people get marred who are actively planning on getting divorced quickly afterwards. The idea that marriage is some deep institution based on love/affection is more myth than reality. It’s also not particularly uncommon for divorcing couples to still have sex and even care for each other deeply. Based on one study something like ~6% of divorces result in the couple remarrying each other and of those marriages only 30% or so end in a second divorce.

Finding irrationality unacceptable is also irrational.

by oezi 3y ago

Finding irrationality unacceptable is also irrational.

This isn’t some random person off the street, this is someone you’re hopefully spending the majority of your life with. It’s ok to be picky.

Exoristos 3y ago
The point is there's no one who is not irrational. It's foundationally human.
- Retric 3y ago
  Ignoring differences in magnitude is a mistake. Buying a lottery ticket when the jackpot hits a billion dollars and blowing 100k in Las Vegas are both gambling, but the first is essentially harmless fun while the second is a sign of deeper issues.
  - oezi 3y ago
    Right, but OP didn't focus on magnitudes. He found irrationality unacceptable. So likely he wouldn't marry a lottery player or horoscope reader.
- serf 3y ago
  there is a difference between people who see in themselves that irrationality and express a desire to change or improve, and those that decide that the world needs to bend towards the irrationality, regardless of how uncomfortable that makes others. A line should be drawn when the irrationality of one causes inarguable and debilitating friction in the relationships of that person. In other words : It's okay to be the person who loves pink, dresses in pink, bathes in pink -- until it disallows that person to find meaningful work/friends/mates/whatever; then it's more than just human irrationality, it's the inability to cope with others and the world at large.
- nonrandomstring 3y ago
  When considering any long term commitment one should ask "In what ways are you mad?". If both of you have enough insight to answer, that's a very solid foundation to work with.
oezi 3y ago
Certainly, but I was just pointing out to OP that finding it unacceptable when they person they marry has some kind of irrationality is very strong and likely not logical. For one, the affection most relationships are based on love/affection which isn't rational in most cases.
- Retric 3y ago
  I’ve seen people get marred who are actively planning on getting divorced quickly afterwards. The idea that marriage is some deep institution based on love/affection is more myth than reality. It’s also not particularly uncommon for divorcing couples to still have sex and even care for each other deeply. Based on one study something like ~6% of divorces result in the couple remarrying each other and of those marriages only 30% or so end in a second divorce.