6 ms·

I tend to agree. This falls in the same realm as a fancy wedding versus a trip to a courthouse to get married. Some couples are fine with going to a courthouse,

I tend to agree. This falls in the same realm as a fancy wedding versus a trip to a courthouse to get married. Some couples are fine with going to a courthouse, others will never accept it even if they have to borrow to accomplish it. When it comes to big weddings there is no such thing as a smart expense. Most couples would be better off by going to a judge to get married but that just can't be accepted by many. Diamonds are just another cost of getting married by most couples.

cactusplant7374 3y ago
I guess if they are desperate to get married they do whatever. Of they can discuss expectations at the beginning of the relationship like they do with other goals (i.e. kids or no kids).
- jonkho 3y ago
  They literally paying to go to the clink. Nothing that a marriage license permits you to do that you can’t do without one. Except you can be liable to get sued when the relationship ends. Literally the only differentiator of significance.
  - CalRobert 3y ago
    You can get a visa more easily.
    - jonkho 3y ago
      As an American, it’s pretty much visa-free everywhere - and my comment is directed towards Americans.
      - CalRobert 3y ago
        I am an American (living abroad), and while your comment is technically correct, permission to remain long term and work in a country is one of the benefits to a legal marriage.
  - closewith 3y ago
    That depends on where you live. In some places parental rights are linked to marriage.
    - jonkho 3y ago
      You have parental rights even without marriage, in America and the western world.
      - closewith 3y ago
        No, that's not true. As I said, that depends on where you live. For example, in Ireland, for children born outside of marriage, only the mother has an automatic right to guardianship. The same is true in the UK unless the father is added to the birth certificate. The same is true in most US States - no automatic parental rights without marriage.
  - hackideiomat 3y ago
    It's good for taxes here to be married officially
    - jonkho 3y ago
      50% chance you will divide everything. Risk a dollar to pick up pennies. Risk vs reward.
bradknowles 3y ago
My wife and I had a pretty expensive wedding. You could buy a nice car for that amount. It wasn't supposed to be that way. But we were living in Europe at the time, and the wedding was going to be in Maryland, so we had to get a wedding coordinator to make it go well. And she introduced us to florists, chefs, photographers, etc.... She helped make that wedding the best it could possibly be, and I don't regret any of the money we spent. Nor does my wife. That was one of the best events we have ever participated in, and over the decades we still get positive comments from our friends who were present there. So, yeah. It was a lot of money. But we feel it was money well spent.
bcrosby95 3y ago
Your wedding and funeral are the only two times everyone you care about will be in one room. And you only get to experience one of those. It's one of the few smart things to spend money on.
- tomp 3y ago
  Sounds like a great way to not spend a lot of time talking to any of them. Precisely why I prefer small intimate events with my friends and don’t want a big event like a wedding.
- lelanthran 3y ago
  > Your wedding and funeral are the only two times everyone you care about will be in one room. And you only get to experience one of those. And yet, during both those times you will have no meaningful engagement with all those people you care about. If you want your wedding to be a meaningful event, you need to keep it small; the larger a party[1] is, the less engagement the host will get with the average attendee. [1] You shouldn't forget that a wedding is nothing more than an expensive party that everyone else will forget.
  - HelloMcFly 3y ago
    > And yet, during both those times you will have no meaningful engagement with all those people you care about. This was not my experience at all, for what it's worth.
    - lelanthran 3y ago
      > This was not my experience at all, for what it's worth. You had a large number of guests and meaningfully engaged with all of them?
  - mplewis 3y ago
    What are you talking about? I remember everyone who was at my wedding.

cactusplant7374 3y ago

I guess if they are desperate to get married they do whatever. Of they can discuss expectations at the beginning of the relationship like they do with other goals (i.e. kids or no kids).

jonkho 3y ago
They literally paying to go to the clink. Nothing that a marriage license permits you to do that you can’t do without one. Except you can be liable to get sued when the relationship ends. Literally the only differentiator of significance.
- CalRobert 3y ago
  You can get a visa more easily.
  - jonkho 3y ago
    As an American, it’s pretty much visa-free everywhere - and my comment is directed towards Americans.
    - CalRobert 3y ago
      I am an American (living abroad), and while your comment is technically correct, permission to remain long term and work in a country is one of the benefits to a legal marriage.
- closewith 3y ago
  That depends on where you live. In some places parental rights are linked to marriage.
  - jonkho 3y ago
    You have parental rights even without marriage, in America and the western world.
    - closewith 3y ago
      No, that's not true. As I said, that depends on where you live. For example, in Ireland, for children born outside of marriage, only the mother has an automatic right to guardianship. The same is true in the UK unless the father is added to the birth certificate. The same is true in most US States - no automatic parental rights without marriage.
- hackideiomat 3y ago
  It's good for taxes here to be married officially
  - jonkho 3y ago
    50% chance you will divide everything. Risk a dollar to pick up pennies. Risk vs reward.

bradknowles 3y ago

My wife and I had a pretty expensive wedding. You could buy a nice car for that amount. It wasn't supposed to be that way. But we were living in Europe at the time, and the wedding was going to be in Maryland, so we had to get a wedding coordinator to make it go well. And she introduced us to florists, chefs, photographers, etc.... She helped make that wedding the best it could possibly be, and I don't regret any of the money we spent. Nor does my wife. That was one of the best events we have ever participated in, and over the decades we still get positive comments from our friends who were present there. So, yeah. It was a lot of money. But we feel it was money well spent.

bcrosby95 3y ago

Your wedding and funeral are the only two times everyone you care about will be in one room. And you only get to experience one of those. It's one of the few smart things to spend money on.

tomp 3y ago
Sounds like a great way to not spend a lot of time talking to any of them. Precisely why I prefer small intimate events with my friends and don’t want a big event like a wedding.
lelanthran 3y ago
> Your wedding and funeral are the only two times everyone you care about will be in one room. And you only get to experience one of those. And yet, during both those times you will have no meaningful engagement with all those people you care about. If you want your wedding to be a meaningful event, you need to keep it small; the larger a party[1] is, the less engagement the host will get with the average attendee. [1] You shouldn't forget that a wedding is nothing more than an expensive party that everyone else will forget.
- HelloMcFly 3y ago
  > And yet, during both those times you will have no meaningful engagement with all those people you care about. This was not my experience at all, for what it's worth.
  - lelanthran 3y ago
    > This was not my experience at all, for what it's worth. You had a large number of guests and meaningfully engaged with all of them?
- mplewis 3y ago
  What are you talking about? I remember everyone who was at my wedding.