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I have little sympathy for them, if that's what we're supposed to feel. Maybe the article was poorly written but it seems like "they've tried nothing and are al
by ttymck 3y ago
I have little sympathy for them, if that's what we're supposed to feel. Maybe the article was poorly written but it seems like "they've tried nothing and are all out of ideas".
I would appreciate it if stories like this continue to make headlines. Let them be a warning to all our parents. No doubt this will end up being an unpleasant mess for their children to clean up.
- HenryBemis 3y ago> an unpleasant mess for their children to clean up People massively underestimate the amount of pain and discomfort it causes to have to sort out a house filled with useless stuff, ON TOP of the GREAT pain of losing a parent. When my grandma died, 6 adults (her 3 kids and spouses) were cleaning a 50 sqm flat for a week. The amount of worthless paperwork, magazines, newspapers, tchotchkes, bank statements from 40 years ago.. clothes/towels/bed-sheets for 10 people.. unreasonable volume of stuff (she was not a hoarder per se - the flat was spotless and you could easily walk from room to room), just needing enormous cleaning/maintenance and offering zero value. I believe we should all check out lists like "how to prepare for dying" with our elder parents. It's a bit morbid and not a fun discussion for the Sunday dinner, but hey.. business before pleasure..
- genman 3y agoAnd how much did you help her when she was still alive? I think your complaint is unjustified.
- HideousKojima 3y agoHow nuch would the typical old person allow their kids to help out with getting rid of junk while they're still alive?
- genman 3y agoHow many have tried? Gently asking if this or that is needed indeed? Of course arrogantly claiming that they live in the middle of junkyard doesn't get anybody anywhere.
- plorkyeran 3y agoWe're currently dealing with this with my grandmother. She is absolutely not okay with anything being removed from her house, and the best we've come up with is to periodically have one or two people organize her attic and have a clear set of things which we know we need to go through when she dies and a set of boxes we know we can just toss. Even with this, it's looking like weeks of work.
- anymouse123456 3y agoIn dealing with a person (young, old, or MYSELF), I find it much more efficient to use the 3 piles technique: Pile 1: Definitely keeping Pile 2: Not sure, decide later, no pressure Pile 3: Definitely tossing I've had a small number of elderly people go from, "STOP TOUCHING MY STUFF! I WANT IT ALL!" to getting rid of so much, I'm sitting there trying to save some of it. This technique starts with no requirement that anything is tossed. The owner must simply touch each thing and choose a pile. Truly, no pressure and if they choose to keep every little thing, that's their choice. The family is clearing and bringing stuff into the inbound pile for the elderly person. It works even better if there's a grandchild around to help the sorter. The biggest thing this does, is stop the fights over every single object that go like: Kid: Mom, do you want to keep this? Mom: YES Kid: BUT WHY?! It's trash! - 10 minutes of arguing and it goes one way or another - repeat for each and every item in someone's home - Everyone is exhausted and angry after an hour or two I've seen massive family drama turn into a relatively enjoyable afternoon with Grandma sharing memories with her grandchild, while 3-4 adults clear an entire garage of stuff, almost all of which wound up going to the trash with Grandma's consent.
- genman 3y agoWeeks of work? That must be horrible. /s Come on, show a little more love toward your grandmother.