I don't fault him for this: I assume that's just what he learned at home. The ultimate lesson I take from this thread is that people's preferences in this matte

I don't fault him for this: I assume that's just what he learned at home. The ultimate lesson I take from this thread is that people's preferences in this matter are all over the place, and if you want to be a leader (as opposed to, say, a manager), you have to be able to be flexible in your approach. It's a matter of picking the right tool for the job. Since this tech lead and I are both (relatively) mature adults, eventually I simply told him he needed to be more direct with me if he wanted me to understand him, he said that he was not entirely comfortable with that but he would try, and we got by well enough after that.