I felt the exact same. The mounting pain, seemingly leading up to needing to take extended medical leave, the feeling of helplessness where interacting with com

I felt the exact same. The mounting pain, seemingly leading up to needing to take extended medical leave, the feeling of helplessness where interacting with computers in any capacity was excruciating, and feeling... just utterly useless was terrible. Everything I do/am felt like it involved my hands. Talon took me out of that. It was difficult to learn while in pain (if anyone reading this has the spare cycles, I highly suggest learning before you need it), but it entirely freed me from that downward spiral. It's a kind of security that (temporary) health can't quite match – knowing that the accomodations for disability are there, and are really good. Being abled is a temporary state. (For example, I lose the use of my hands while I'm eating!) There was a book I can't recall the name of, in which one of the characters (a human) is stranded on an alien planet. He agrees to a certain type of relationship with his alien benefactor, but doesn't understand the cultural implications of what he's agreeing to. His fingers are lengthened through a medical procedure, so long that he can't hold anything, can't work, can't ever exist on his own again – he exists now only as a thing of beauty, a token for the alien to show off. He spends his days in what I picture as a courtyard in a roman villa, to be shown off to guests. This confers social status on his owner because of the resources it takes to keep a helpless sapient being fed, clothed, and happy. (The last one is debatable.) It is seen as one of the most intimate types of relationships in this culture. I think about this a lot.