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I was just visiting a friend and the exact opposite happened to me - she suggested I was reserved when I would describe myself as outgoing. It was an offhand c

I was just visiting a friend and the exact opposite happened to me - she suggested I was reserved when I would describe myself as outgoing. It was an offhand comment on her part and I'm not given to introspection but it did make me think. I remembered another friend who seemed entirely different depending upon his girlfriend being around or not. The thing that confused me was I couldn't figure out which version of this friend was the "real" version of him and which was an act - an act for the benefit of the girlfriend or an act for the benefit of the people who only knew him as he was without the girlfriend's presence.

JohnFen 3y ago
They're both "real". People tend to modify their behavior according to who they're near. They aren't "faking it", though. It's that we tend to behave as those we are around behave. And, conversely, those people who are around us tend to behave as we do. Once you notice this, you can't stop seeing it. All versions of ourself is still the real us, though -- we're just emphasizing and deemphasizing different aspects of us according to the social situation.
- Jeff_Brown 3y ago
  I just accept a new job, in part, because people I knew from a previous job are so happy there. I'm afraid of the increased workload, but they are feeling the same increase, and I would have to believe we are extremely different to think that my experience making the same move won't be like theirs.