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I've heard the "marriage for happiness" trope, but who says marriage makes you healthier? It doesn't take much for someone to sacrifice their health for someth

I've heard the "marriage for happiness" trope, but who says marriage makes you healthier? It doesn't take much for someone to sacrifice their health for something – whether it's for a job, leisurely activities, stress eating, or just not caring. Marriage adds more reasons on top of this. You've found your mate, so less incentive to go to the gym / stay in shape. You've just had a kid, so less time overall to do so, and (especially!) less sleep in general, which causes all sorts of problems. Can anyone recall a "marriage makes you healthier" trope? Seems like a straw-man to me?

tonyedgecombe 3y ago
I'm sure I've seen some stats that showed married men live longer than singles.
ndriscoll 3y ago
> You've found your mate, so less incentive to go to the gym / stay in shape. This is a common trope, like the boomer "I hate my wife" meme, but it's such a bad attitude. For us, it's been more incentive to stay in shape. You have someone that you care about, and it's unfair to them to pull a bait-and-switch and get fat after you've committed to each other. Your spouse deserves to be married to a hottie. Also you should want to be around and in good health for each other and your kids for as long as you can. We both quit drinking when we started having kids. Her for obvious reasons. Me for solidarity I suppose, but then also because once they're here, they're a 12 hour job every day, and you never know if they'll wake up and need you after bedtime, so there's no good time for alcohol anyway.
- simplify 3y ago
  I agree it's a bad attitude! And as someone who is (happily) married, I still do my best to stay in shape. What I'm doing is merely listing the common reasons why the trend is what it is. Exceptional people will likely stay exceptional.
lesuorac 3y ago
> You've found your mate, so less incentive to go to the gym / stay in shape. You've just had a kid, so less time overall to do so, and (especially!) less sleep in general, which causes all sorts of problems. I mean if you met your spouse at the gym its probably a reason to keep going. It's a common activity you both enjoyed when single so you still enjoy it as a couple. Running after kids should keep in you in shape as well. Although I guess you could just watch TV with them all day but that's not dependent on having a kid.
- simplify 3y ago
  Agreed; I'm not saying it can't happen, just pointing out that certain incentives are no longer there.

tonyedgecombe 3y ago

I'm sure I've seen some stats that showed married men live longer than singles.

ndriscoll 3y ago

> You've found your mate, so less incentive to go to the gym / stay in shape. This is a common trope, like the boomer "I hate my wife" meme, but it's such a bad attitude. For us, it's been more incentive to stay in shape. You have someone that you care about, and it's unfair to them to pull a bait-and-switch and get fat after you've committed to each other. Your spouse deserves to be married to a hottie. Also you should want to be around and in good health for each other and your kids for as long as you can. We both quit drinking when we started having kids. Her for obvious reasons. Me for solidarity I suppose, but then also because once they're here, they're a 12 hour job every day, and you never know if they'll wake up and need you after bedtime, so there's no good time for alcohol anyway.

simplify 3y ago
I agree it's a bad attitude! And as someone who is (happily) married, I still do my best to stay in shape. What I'm doing is merely listing the common reasons why the trend is what it is. Exceptional people will likely stay exceptional.

lesuorac 3y ago

> You've found your mate, so less incentive to go to the gym / stay in shape. You've just had a kid, so less time overall to do so, and (especially!) less sleep in general, which causes all sorts of problems. I mean if you met your spouse at the gym its probably a reason to keep going. It's a common activity you both enjoyed when single so you still enjoy it as a couple. Running after kids should keep in you in shape as well. Although I guess you could just watch TV with them all day but that's not dependent on having a kid.

simplify 3y ago
Agreed; I'm not saying it can't happen, just pointing out that certain incentives are no longer there.