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Is it true that their friends ghost after graduation? I thought they would have more contact through Snapchat etc. Do you have personal acquaintances who had th

Is it true that their friends ghost after graduation? I thought they would have more contact through Snapchat etc. Do you have personal acquaintances who had that happen. Im older, 30s but I felt that friend contact really fell off after moving away from SF former room mates and startup friends.

lloydatkinson 3y ago
Everyone I knew at uni stopped talking after a while.
- lacrimacida 3y ago
  Probably because they didn’t make any friendships or they were too shallow and time/distance killed them.
- guappa 3y ago
  I went to university and I'm not mute yet… should I be worried? :D
TrackerFF 3y ago
Someone, I don't remember who, said that friendships are fleeing products of time and place. Meaning that many friendships are mainly the result of where you are (e.g. university) at a certain time (e.g. youth) in your life. When those things change, friendships may cease to exist. People move away, and grow away from each others - it is a sad fact of life, but it is what it is. I had friendships in college which I felt were going to last my entire life - you really felt close to those people. Struggling together in the reading halls and labs, going out to pubs in the evening, and just chilling with movies on the weekends. But then life happened, people move away, and you lose contact. Maybe one part tries to keep in touch, but you with work, family, and what not - it is not always a two-way street. Then you bump into each others, 5-10-15-20 years later, and the magic is gone. Or maybe not, I've bumped into people I haven't seen in ages and we picked up were we left things. Same goes for work - or dare I say - especially for work.
Pannoniae 3y ago
I am 20. All my high school friends have just stopped replying after leaving school. (even the ones promising to keep contact) In university, social life is non-existent. Dating? It's in the category of "don't even think about that". So yup, there's a reason why most of us are utterly lonely.
- circlefavshape 3y ago
  Why wouldn't you even think about dating?
- nick222226 3y ago
  I lost most of my high school friends pretty quickly once gone to college but have managed to keep 2 good ones into my 30s, messaging or having a phone catch up with each anywhere from 1 to 5 times a year. In college the social life was pretty accessible through clubs, fraternities, study groups or dorm common rooms. My most steadfast friends have been from high school and from startups after college. They say "shared struggle breeds friendships" or something like that. Though in my generation ghosting was considered much more rude (or at least seemed less common), you at least had to try to politely deflect a message or phone call.
chasd00 3y ago
I'm 47, I met my current three best friends the first day of college. Two of us have families and we have all moved about. We have an active group chat on imessage and still get together a couple times a year. There's no relationship-as-a-service app despite the hype, relationships take work and you only get what you give. edit: when we do get together we just sit, watch youtube or play video games and drink beer just like in college heh. Our meatspace relationships are like a time capsule more or less, in that respect it's sort of depressing haha.

lloydatkinson 3y ago

Everyone I knew at uni stopped talking after a while.

lacrimacida 3y ago
Probably because they didn’t make any friendships or they were too shallow and time/distance killed them.
guappa 3y ago
I went to university and I'm not mute yet… should I be worried? :D

TrackerFF 3y ago

Someone, I don't remember who, said that friendships are fleeing products of time and place. Meaning that many friendships are mainly the result of where you are (e.g. university) at a certain time (e.g. youth) in your life. When those things change, friendships may cease to exist. People move away, and grow away from each others - it is a sad fact of life, but it is what it is. I had friendships in college which I felt were going to last my entire life - you really felt close to those people. Struggling together in the reading halls and labs, going out to pubs in the evening, and just chilling with movies on the weekends. But then life happened, people move away, and you lose contact. Maybe one part tries to keep in touch, but you with work, family, and what not - it is not always a two-way street. Then you bump into each others, 5-10-15-20 years later, and the magic is gone. Or maybe not, I've bumped into people I haven't seen in ages and we picked up were we left things. Same goes for work - or dare I say - especially for work.

Pannoniae 3y ago

I am 20. All my high school friends have just stopped replying after leaving school. (even the ones promising to keep contact) In university, social life is non-existent. Dating? It's in the category of "don't even think about that". So yup, there's a reason why most of us are utterly lonely.

circlefavshape 3y ago
Why wouldn't you even think about dating?
nick222226 3y ago
I lost most of my high school friends pretty quickly once gone to college but have managed to keep 2 good ones into my 30s, messaging or having a phone catch up with each anywhere from 1 to 5 times a year. In college the social life was pretty accessible through clubs, fraternities, study groups or dorm common rooms. My most steadfast friends have been from high school and from startups after college. They say "shared struggle breeds friendships" or something like that. Though in my generation ghosting was considered much more rude (or at least seemed less common), you at least had to try to politely deflect a message or phone call.

chasd00 3y ago

I'm 47, I met my current three best friends the first day of college. Two of us have families and we have all moved about. We have an active group chat on imessage and still get together a couple times a year. There's no relationship-as-a-service app despite the hype, relationships take work and you only get what you give. edit: when we do get together we just sit, watch youtube or play video games and drink beer just like in college heh. Our meatspace relationships are like a time capsule more or less, in that respect it's sort of depressing haha.