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Regarding the hidden point: I think there’s an expectation in contemporary American culture that emotional intimacy is women’s work, i.e., they provide support
by sethg 15y ago
Regarding the hidden point: I think there’s an expectation in contemporary American culture that emotional intimacy is women’s work, i.e., they provide support and counsel and do other semi-therapeutic for their boyfriends, their husbands, and their female friends. Straight men are uncomfortable turning to other men for that kind of intimacy.
In cultures with a greater social separation between men and women, men can have intense and emotionally intimate friendships with other men, because there isn’t the same kind of expectation regarding women, and because a man will understand what another man is going through in a way that women, living in a “separate sphere”, would not.
- ArbitraryLimits 15y ago> Straight men are uncomfortable turning to other men for that kind of intimacy. I personally don't really want that kind of intimacy from other men. The kind of association I want with other men is more of a "playing on the same team" sort of thing, like you'd get from playing sports together, maybe working on a side project together, or even just forming a group that always meets at the same bar on a certain night. The focus isn't on sitting around talking, it's half having a group identity and half working together towards a common goal.
- rayiner 15y agoYou've pretty much reiterated his point.
- ArbitraryLimits 15y agoI know? I'm not sure what you mean, I agree with the great-grandparent post and was trying to elaborate on it.