Look up 'limerance.' There are many online resources, including a few good subreddits. You may not have it, or may not have it strongly, or it may come and go —

Look up 'limerance.' There are many online resources, including a few good subreddits. You may not have it, or may not have it strongly, or it may come and go — but some people are highly affected by having limerant obsessive feelings for someone, sometimes for decades. Understanding how it works may help you move on.