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There’s a point where spite serves and a point where it hinders. In freshman year of high school, a PE coach said to my face “You’re never going to amount to an
by kashunstva 3y ago
There’s a point where spite serves and a point where it hinders. In freshman year of high school, a PE coach said to my face “You’re never going to amount to anything.” Because I was a scrawny kid with no interest in sport. The residual spite served me well as a motivating influence in the rest of my educational life: through university, graduate school, postdoctoral work. But at some point saying “I had the last laugh,” one last time and then forgiving is the right thing to do.
- XorNot 3y agoForgiveness isn't necessary or even warranted though: forgetting conversely, is. This is what I think TV tends to mess up: recurring characters are good for story or known quantities for production, but in real life? They don't need to exist at all.
- sublinear 3y agoClosure is necessary to forget and that's why someone might not be able to. I agree that forgiveness isn't always the best kind of closure. The magic of forgetting is that it's painless and automatic.
- Aeglaecia 3y agoit takes effort to hold on , letting go does not require effort
- bryanrasmussen 3y agoletting go would require a lot of effort for some people, especially if other people keep coming along and hitting on the same damn spot.
- Aeglaecia 3y agonot making a decision is the same as making a decision, yes difficulty varies on circumstance..
- tgv 3y agoI think we should forgive, but not forget. There's no need to forgive everything, though.
- nonrandomstring 3y agoSometimes, as with tough love, relations of hurt are not what they seem to be. I had one canny and amazing teacher, humane and funny to the core. It took me 5 years to grow from hating her to loving her. On the last day, when I graduated her class with A+ and a special prize she finally said to me; """ I always marked your work unfairly, very poorly. I know kids like you, and wanted to make you say "I'll show that fucking bitch" """ Occasionally, sparingly, I use that same device in my teaching. It's hard to pull off and you have to watch very carefully where it lands. You need to watch for Pvt. Gomer Pyle's who can't process it, and give them 100% heart. But for many, being the bitch is the way to their hearts, because it gives them something to triumph over. A sorry kind of teacher is one who really cares too much what people think about them.