4 ms·
I don't have much difficulty perceiving time in general, but I have a dissociative disorder that can really, really fuck with it: Dissociative Identity Disorder
by LoganDark 3y ago
I don't have much difficulty perceiving time in general, but I have a dissociative disorder that can really, really fuck with it: Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. (It's not an "identity disorder", but a "dissociative identity" disorder, the clinical name for the so-called "personalities".)
When one of the other "personalities" is out in my place, that length of time will be lost to me. As if I just teleported forward. Things that happened before the event will feel more recent than they really were, and things that happened during the event, I won't remember at all. Because those memories weren't mine to begin with - they are memories of someone else that lives in my head.
This results in a lot of very fun situations, but it mostly results in me losing big chunks of my life and not knowing things that just so happen to have been told to someone other than me. (I didn't forget, those memories just belong to someone else!)
I've also had some small number of dissociative episodes, which are even worse because I can get really extreme time dilation during the episode, but also phantom sensations like endless pain and suffering-- you get the idea. It can get really really fucked.
I'm lucky not to have completely lost my sense of time, but having to figure out a bunch of identity stuff every single day is very Fun. Sometimes it's actually fun and other times it's the big existential crisis that never ends.
- unobatbayar 3y agoI truly understand you. I've researched into this for a long time but found that it's not currently curable. Have you tried healing your trauma? Please share anything you've tried or done to cope with DID.
- LoganDark 3y agoMy trauma really isn't healable, on top of just getting a healthy dose of Fresh trauma a few weeks ago. Honestly, DID isn't meant to be cured and coping sort of just consists of accepting that this is your life now. Now, I did a lot more than that because I encouraged plurality and allowed each identity to express themselves and have fun lives, and that's honestly probably the best coping that could have been done. Living life as multiple is just different. Some people are able to integrate and become just one person, but I would rather die than do that. Being multiple is my identity. Without that, I'd be lost.